


Mission: Illogical

by evoboo



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best dads, F/M, Ice Cream Parlors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evoboo/pseuds/evoboo
Summary: Seteth needs a nanny - Byleth needs a job - What could possibly go wrong?... Just your average Mary Poppins/Terminator 2 crossover type fic...
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Seteth
Comments: 54
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter One

Seteth knew there was trouble brewing from the moment that he opened his front door and there was… nothing. No Flayn running to greet him with a beaming smile. No Linhardt hovering in the doorway of the den, his sleepy eyes barely rising from his book, but at least offering acknowledgement of his father’s return - and no Mutt the dog dancing around his ankles in a crazy short-limbed dance of exuberance. All there was… was silence.

Quickly punching his security code into the home alarm system, Seteth scanned the base panel for any anomalies. The display maintained a solid green with no blinking red warning lights to suggest that anything untoward had taken place during his absence. 

Laying his briefcase down and removing his spectacles, Seteth strained to listen for any sounds that might reassure him that his little family were still somewhere within the sanctuary of their home. There was nothing. The only thing he _could_ hear was a loud internal screaming from the _‘dad’_ part of his brain as it attempted to goad him into fast, reckless action. He cooly pushed _that_ impulse aside, taking a firm grip on his emotions to allow his highly disciplined training to kick in. Solid reconnaissance was required to determine what response was the most appropriate to this developing situation.

With a precise flick of his wrist, an obsidian dagger fell neatly into Seteth’s palm – his impeccably tailored suit providing clever concealment for the mechanism that was attached to his right arm and offered him easy access to several different weapons. Gripping the blade competently, he started to move forward, making no sound at all as he edged cautiously along the wall to the entrance of the den and then slid smoothly into the room. 

Sunlight was streaming brilliantly through high windows, illuminating most of the expansive space in a warm glow, but not quite reaching into the farthest corner where the computer that linked up the security system was located. His target acquired, Seteth padded over to the row of visual units that monitored the house and its grounds to scan for anything that might clue him in on what had happened. 

His first perusal yielded naught, no signs of life but also nothing that was in the slightest bit suspicious. His second, more meticulous examination, however… Yes! He leaned in closer to a terminal covering half of the upper hallway. His bedroom’s door was opened wide when it should have been both closed _and_ securely locked as a matter of routine. 

Dragging up a chair, Seteth sat and stroked a series of commands into the computer’s keyboard which unlocked a subsection of currently unmonitored locations. He selected his bedroom from the list, typed in a passcode then provided a retinal scan when he was prompted. The camera in his room blinked quickly into action and instantly provided him with a sharp real-time image. 

One brief glance at the newly revealed scene was all that it took to have him pinching wearily at the bridge of his nose and groaning to himself softly.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Seteth pulled out his phone. He snapped a shot of the tableau on the screen in front of him then pinged the photo and an attached message to his brothers. 

**< <** … _Four days… Who won_?... **> >**

His mobile vibrated almost instantaneously, indicating an incoming reply. It was Indech.

**< < ** _…Bloody genius bro - 4 days a record, yeah? I figured a month, Mac bet a week…_ **> >**

Seteth sighed. _Of course_ Macuil had won. Mac _always_ won. Damn his specialisation in tactical planning. Speak of the devil… his phone vibrated a second time.

**< <** _… Just forward me the gold, loser…_ **> >**

‘Arsehole!’ Seteth murmured to himself, digitally transferring a single gold piece from his account to Mac’s on their virtual score app. There was yet another vibration.

**< < ** _… and don’t call me names, butthead…_ ** >>**

Damn. Had his brother compromised his phone _again_? It wouldn’t be the first time. “ _Buzz…”_

**< < … ** _No dummy, I’m NOT listening in… I just **know** you… Now - go sort out your mess and quit procrastinating_ **… >>**

Seteth stashed both his phone and his knife in his pocket and killed the camera feed to his room. His brother did have at least one thing right. This _was_ another fine mess that he needed to try and sort out.

With impressive stealthiness, Seteth snuck upstairs and down the hallway to his bedroom, careful not to alert his family to his approach. He had spotted that Linhardt was blatantly snooping through his (supposedly) secure filing cabinet - one that he kept sealed away in his locked bedroom as a deterrent to his son’s lazy prying. May as well catch the boy with his hands stuck firmly in the cookie jar and try to salvage _something_ from this situation.

It was Flayn who was first in view when Seteth reached the open door on the landing. His daughter didn’t notice him immediately – her attention was entirely focused on the handheld console she had resting on her lap. Her face was set in pure concentration as she played - an unbearably cute look that _totally_ obliterated the annoyance that Seteth had been holding onto following his fright.

When he stepped into the doorway of the room, Flayn finally spotted him and immediately aimed her thousand-watt grin like an arrow directly at his heart.

‘Dad!’ She exclaimed happily. ‘You’re back already!’

Seteth pushed his way around the door as Linhardt looked up from the file he was persuing to raise an utterly unapologetic eyebrow at his father.

‘About time too...’ He observed before turning to put the file back from where he had pilfered it with no shame or sense of urgency whatsoever.

Mutt jumped off the bed, yapping with playful merriness and shedding a raft of wiry white hair all over the legs of Seteth’s obscenely expensive suit. He bent down to gently pat the dog’s head, and his movement brought him into direct eye contact with his children’s latest victim.

_‘Mrrmmmmbbbrrr.’_ Holst attempted to speak, but the hole that had been thoughtfully provided for his mouth was too small to allow the proper formation of words. His eyes though were speaking volumes: mainly annoyance and a whole load of embarrassment.

‘He was casing the joint, dad!’ Flayn jumped to her feet, throwing her console onto the bed and adopting her best _‘bad girl’_ pose while pointing incriminatingly at Holst. ‘We caught him at it!’ She added smugly.

_‘Mrrmmmm!’_ Holst complained. _‘MMMMrrrmmm, mmmmbbbrrr!’_

‘Flayn speaks the truth.’ Linhardt was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a bored expression on his face. ‘He’s been sneaking around up here ever since he started working for us. Very shady behaviour, in my opinion…’

_‘MMMRMMMMRRR!’_ Holst objected vehemently.

Seteth had moved closer to his children’s minder who appeared to have been mummified in something that looked remarkably like cellophane. He reached out a hand tentatively to touch the binding. It was warm and tingly.

‘Can I expect anything unusual to happen when I attempt to free this man?’ Seteth asked calmly.

‘You mean _aside_ from him attacking you now that he has been caught out in his devilish scheme?’ Flayn asked - her hands on her hips and a fearsome frown on her face.

_‘Mmmrmm…’_ Holst grumbled.

‘Linhardt?’ Seteth looked at his son, questioningly. ‘Is it safe to cut this stuff off him, or will it react in some unexpected manner?’

‘Not at all, father. It is perfectly harmless.’ The lad moved over to a large box that was sat on top of a chest of drawers. ‘I _will_ ready a second attack though, just in case the villain _does_ try any further silly business.’

‘Please don’t.’ Seteth begged wearily.

‘It doesn’t hurt dad!’ Flayn promised him earnestly. ‘Lin used _me_ for practise when he built the gizmo-thingamabob. It’s actually rather toasty being all wrapped up, aside from the fact you can’t move of course.’

‘Linhardt! You used your sister as a guinea pig?’ Seteth’s tone was reproachful as he took out his dagger and carefully started to work away at the bonds that were restricting Holst.

Linhardt rolled his eyes with the irreverence that only an eighteen-year-old could manage in the face of a peeved parent. ‘I tried it on inanimate objects first _obviously_ …’ He muttered.

‘Oh, that’s _okay_ then.’ Seteth tried to manage the same level of sarcasm but missed by a mile.

_‘I wasn’t casing the joint!’_ Holst’s head was finally free of the wrappings - his face bright red and perspiring heavily. ‘I was merely being diligent in the protection of my charges. I was _patrolling_ …’

‘None of our previous nannies felt the need to creep around rattling on doors…’ Flayn challenged.

‘How many times…’ Holst gritted his teeth. ‘I am _not_ a nanny. I am a _professional bodyguard_. Maybe your previous employee’s weren’t as competent as I!’

‘Well none of them _have_ been particularly effective - I’ll grant you that…’ Linhardt mused.

Seteth finished freeing Holst from the bindings. ‘My most sincere apologies.’ He said resolutely, offering a hand to help the man rise.

‘I think we need to talk.’ Holst said seriously as he stood.

‘Of course.’ Seteth agreed wearily. He had known what was coming from the moment he had viewed the scene remotely - it wasn’t as if it was an isolated incident after all. ‘Let’s go to my office.’ He suggested.

Both the kids and the dog made tracks as if to follow the two men once they’d left the room and Seteth had relocked his door.

‘Not you two.’ Seteth muttered to them. ‘I will speak with Mr Goneril alone. Why don’t you both go and get changed. I think we will have to eat out this evening.’

‘Really?’ Flayn’s jaw dropped. ‘Wow! Yeah, alright!’ She skipped off towards her bedroom with Mutt at her heels.

‘Linhardt…’

‘My invention is still in your bedroom, father.’ The young man complained. 

‘Which is where it is staying… and don’t even _think_ about letting yourself back in to liberate it…’ Seteth demanded.

Grumbling to himself, Linhardt also headed to his own room and slammed his door noisily for good measure.

‘Kid’s eh!’ Seteth chuckled weakly to Holst who nodded solemnly, remaining silent as Seteth led the way downstairs and into his office.

‘Can I just say, once again, how very sorry I am that you had to experience such an indignity.' Seteth began, as soon as the men were safely ensconced in his office and the door was shut. ‘I know how very vexing my children can be and their high jinx does often spiral out of control…’

‘Please sir,’ Holst put up a hand to stem the tide of Seteth’s apology. ‘There was no harm done; indeed that invention of Linhardt’s was actually quite ingenious, and with a bit of work I can see that it could have some exciting application potential in all kinds of scenario’s…’

‘That’s very generous of you…’ Seteth murmured.

‘Your children are exceptional!’ The young man added earnestly. ‘But…’

‘Ah, yes. But.’ Seteth pinched the bridge of his nose wearily.

‘ _But_ , I am definitely not the right person for this particular assignment.’ Holst said firmly. ‘In all honesty, sir, my father sent me here to appraise the situation in person since _none_ of our operatives are keen, or indeed willing to take on the job here. There have been too many incidents.’

‘Your firm has been providing _our_ firm’s security detail for nearly forty years…’ Seteth pointed out weakly.

‘Yes, sir.’ Holst nodded seriously. ‘That is why we have continued trying to make this particular mission work out. You and your entire family are highly valued customers, and the positive working relationship between Lady Rhea and my Father has been established for a very long time.’

‘Holst, your company, provides protection for celebrities, royalty and some of the richest people in the land – very successfully I might add. I fail to see - given the kinds of ego and demands you must surely work with daily - how overseeing the wellbeing of two children can be so difficult to your people.’ Seteth actually _did_ see, but some masochistic part of his personality needed to hear it from the horse's mouth.

Holst sighed. ‘May I speak freely, sir?’ He asked.

‘I insist that you do.’ Seteth nodded.

‘You are correct, of course. It is in the nature of many of our clients to be difficult and to present challenges based on their sense of self and entitlement.’ Holst stood and began pacing the room thoughtfully. ‘The point is though, each and every one of them has hired us because they are afraid. The threat that they feel might be from a specific source or merely generic –, but each of them has a point after which they realise that our services and our requests are entirely for their security and in their best interest.’

‘That makes sense.’ Seteth allowed.

‘With your children sir, well… they just don’t have that fear.’ Holst turned to make firm eye contact with the other man. ‘They are confident and secure in themselves. They are both highly intelligent and imaginative. They quite literally focus their energy on besting the people that you are paying to protect them, and _that_ means that we are not doing our job. Just imagine if there had been an attempt on them in the few hours that I was wrapped up and completely unable to protect them. I would have been forced to watch as they were harmed and been entirely unable to do a single thing about it.’

‘Yes.’ Seteth nodded. ‘It has proven to be an impossibility to impart to either of them the fact that they are never entirely safe. Of course…’ He added quietly. ‘… When their mother was still alive, _she_ took the lead in ensuring their security, and she was able to do that uninvasively. The fact that she died protecting them… well, I suppose it has garnered in them a desire to be able to defend themselves and to better any outsider they come into contact with.’

‘I understand that, sir.’ Holst’s voice was compassionate. ‘My sister and I were around the same ages as your kids when we lost our mother in similar circumstances, so I _do_ get it. I also know what it is like to have a particularly demanding sibling.’ He smiled at Seteth. ‘My sister Hilda is quite the challenge too, sir.’ He admitted.

‘So where do we stand now?’ Seteth asked after a moment of reflective silence.

‘Well…’ Holst looked thoughtfully down at the phone he had taken from his pocket. ‘As I’ve already mentioned, none of our current rota feel that they can provide your children with the security that they need. To date, none of them has been able to effectively counter the kid's shenanigan's although… I should point out that all of them have learned a great deal through their interactions here. Mainly lesson’s in humility and abject failure – but lessons none the less.’

‘Perhaps if your staff just undertook a few days at a time each…’ Seteth suggested desperately. ‘That would hardly give the kids a chance to plan or execute any plots against anyone in particular.’

‘As a final resort that may be a plan.’ Holst agreed. ‘I do, however, have one final option that has just become available.’

‘Oh?’ 

‘We cleared a new candidate a couple of weeks ago, and as it happens, she will arrive in town this evening.’ Holst frown slightly, his eyes still firmly fixed on his phone. ‘In the normal run of things, I wouldn’t put a fresh recruit directly into so high profile a job – but she does have some experience of working with kids as well as an impeccable work record.’

‘That sounds positive!’ Seteth agreed enthusiastically.

‘Perhaps.’ Holst was still frowning. ‘There are one or two issues that I want to be completely upfront about though.’ He said seriously.

‘I’d appreciate that.’ Seteth nodded.

‘Well first…’ Holst looked up from his device. ‘She is very young. In truth, she only has a handful of years on your son. Her bio states that she is in her early twenties.’

‘That is… youthful.’ Seteth’s brow creased. ‘This is her first job in professional security then?’

‘No, actually.’ Holst slid his phone back into his pocket and fixed Seteth with a level stare. ‘She has been working for Dimitri Blaiddyd for the last three years.’

‘The criminal?’ Seteth sounded outraged.

‘The Blaiddyd Foundation is a reputable and charitable trust that does a vast amount of good work in Faerghus.’ Holst replied mildly. ‘Any other ties that the man has is pure conjecture and speculation.’

‘It’s a bit more than that.’ Seteth scoffed.

‘Regardless, her reference comes from the man himself.’ Holst sighed. ‘The rumour is that three years ago, the girl actually saved Dimitri’s life when he was separated from his security and set upon by thieves. She joined his staff soon after and has worked for him ever since.’

‘You are an intelligent man, Holst, and your father is no fool. Surely the idea that this girl is being planted into your organisation by Blaiddyd must have crossed your mind?’ Seteth tapped his finger’s against his desk in an impatient tattoo.

‘Naturally.’ Holst nodded. ‘She has earlier references too though. Despite her tender years, we have a paper trail that follows her all around the continent working alongside her own father as both a mercenary and a bounty hunter. The reports are glowing.’

‘They can be falsified.’ Seteth muttered.

‘Her reason for relocation is also irrefutable.’ Holst said, finally.

‘Tell me.’ Seteth demanded.

‘When she took up with Blaiddyd, her old man came home here and settled. Opened a gym for young people teaching self-defence, martial arts, boxing and other disciplines. Her father died short while back.’

A cold chill ran down Seteth’s neck. His extensive training meant that no hint of expression crossed his face. ‘Are you talking about Jerry Eisner?’ He asked.

‘The ex-mercenary known as the Bladebreaker?’ Holst nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Jeralt Eisner didn’t have any children.’ Seteth said blandly.

‘Have you heard of the Bladebreaker’s partner?’ A small smile crept onto Holst’s lips.

‘The Ashen Demon?’ Seteth nodded. ‘Who hasn’t heard the legend of the stone-cold killer?’

‘That would be his daughter. Our new hire. Byleth Eisner.’ Holst’s smile crept into a full-on shit-eating grin.

‘Don’t be absurd.’ Seteth choked out. ‘She isn’t nearly old enough to…’

‘And yet she is.’ Holst retook his seat. ‘Look.’ He said reasonably. ‘Miss Eisner apparently helped out at her dad’s gym whenever she had holidays, got to know the kids he worked with – had a lot of time for them and his mission in providing training for them. Since the space he worked from was rented, and there was no-one to take over – the gym has been closed down. Byleth’s here to reinstate it and start running it again, and to do that she needs money, which means she needs to secure herself a job.’

Seteth was shaking his head in disbelief. ‘You seriously want to trust my children to the Ashen Demon… if it is even her?’

‘He worked for you, didn’t he?’ Holst said quietly. ‘My father knew Jeralt when he worked for Lady Rhea before he disappeared, and we surmise he’s been back working for you in the three years he has been in town. No - you don’t have to answer.’ Holst chuckled. ‘I get that it’s likely a secret… but if I am right, then you _know_ him. I have met Byleth, during her recruitment process and evaluations and both my father and I agree that the apple has definitely not fallen far from the tree there.’

‘I see.’ Seteth’s face was a mask.

‘Look, I am due to meet with her this evening. If you want, you can take the appointment and check her out for yourself.’ Holst raised a brow. ‘I don’t want to push the point – but this is pretty much the only solution we can offer to your problem at the moment.’

Seteth stared at the young man in consternation. Jerry Eisner had been a force to be reckoned with, tentatively even a friend over the last couple of years. Had he really kept his daughter a secret from everyone? What on earth could he have gained from that?’

‘I’ll meet with her.’ Seteth decided aloud.

‘Great. Give me a couple of minutes, and I’ll make the arrangements.’ Holst beamed.

‘Thanks.’ Seteth mumbled as he booted up his computer to begin a search for all he could find on Byleth Eisner.


	2. Chapter Two

Dusk was creeping gloomily all over town as the cab drew into the parking lot of the Dreamy Cream Ice Bar and screeched to a halt parallel to the main door of the neon-bright frontage that advertised the flagship parlour in garish multi-coloured splendour.

Byleth handed a few gold over to the driver, who grunted and popped the trunk to allow her to grab her large rucksack and laptop bag. She sauntered around to collect her belongings and had barely managed to hoist them free of the vehicle and slam the door back down before her ride crunched into gear and pulled speedily away - almost tangled with an incoming motorcycle in its haste to retreat. 

Cooly the driver of the bike swerved and pulled to a stop, parking up not far from where Byleth was standing.

‘Nice wheels.’ The girl remarked once the rider had dismounted and pulled the elaborately skull-decorated helmet from his head, freeing his long blond hair. ‘New?’

‘Oh. It’s you.’ The rider crossed his arms and peered down at the much smaller woman, a slight frown on his colourless lips. ‘Did Mercedes send cake?’’ He demanded.

‘Heh, I missed you too Jeritza… it’s great to see you again!’

Jeritza tutted disparagingly. ‘Cake?’ He repeated impatiently.

Byleth grinned at him. ‘ _Of course_ your sister made you a cake dumbarse – and she also asked me to deliver an honest-to-Goddess handwritten letter too. Who the hell writes longhand anymore?’

‘Good.’ The tall man nodded sharply, then jabbed his thumb at his bike as he stashed away his helmet and unzipped his jacket to grab his shades which he put on despite the encroaching darkness. ’It’s a ‘Shadow.’ He told her.

‘I know _what_ it is, Jeritza - I asked if it was new.’ Byleth fell in easily by the man’s side as he marched his way through the automatic doors of the shop, both wincing slightly as they were hit by some seriously terrible muzak whining from speakers high in the rafters.

‘It’s new enough, I suppose.’ Jeritza finally answered her begrudgingly.

‘Hey, Teach!’ There was a sudden rush of bodies, and Byleth found herself surrounded by people, while Jeritza snorted loudly and pushed his way through the press into the parlour’s service area. ‘You’re early!’ The lad that had addressed her grabbed her by the arm began guiding her to the seating area. The others parted the way to let them pass, although their babbling welcomes and cheery comments never cease for a moment.

‘Guys!’ Byleth was laughing. ‘Let me breathe! Are you trying to kill me already or what?’

‘Let me take that bag, Professor!’ A massive behemoth of a boy grinned at her, grabbing her rucksack from her shoulder.

‘Have you eaten? You’re looking terribly skinny…’ An efficient looking ginger-haired girl noted critically.

‘I’d better go and serve Jeritza before he busts a blood vessel.’ A bespectacled lad added quietly. ‘Welcome back, Professor!’ He smiled shyly before he darted off back around the serving counter.

‘Are you all seriously _still_ gonna insist on calling me Professor?’ Byleth grouched as she allowed herself to be led. ‘I’d hoped you would have tired of that shit by now.’

‘Awww c’mon Teach.’ The lad holding onto her relinquished his grip once he’d guided her into a golden leatherette booth. ‘You wouldn’t let us call you Sensai since that was Jeralt’s title… although I guess now that he’s gone…’

‘No, Claude.’ Byleth said firmly.

Claude smiled at her. ‘Figured you’d say that.’

‘It’s your own fault for the length of the lectures you give us in training.’ The ginger girl smirked. 

‘Leonie has a point.’ The blond giant grinned as he placed Byleth’s rucksack down gently at her side. ‘I always feel a whole load smarter after a session with you.’

‘That isn’t exactly hard in your case, Raphael.’ Claude chuckled punched him on one of his extremely developed arms and immediately wincing at the sting to his knuckles as they bounced off pure muscle. ‘Anyway, Teach, the other students are coming along this evening to say hello too. We _had_ planned to surprise you… but like I say, you’re early.’

‘I was going to stop by my dad’s storage unit to check up on the state of the equipment from the gym, but the lawyer wasn’t available at short notice, so I ain't got the key yet.’

‘Your dad?’ Leonie frowned.

‘Bloody hell!’ Claude swore loudly, smacking himself on the brow in consternation. ‘Jeralt was your father?’ He shook his head in annoyance. ‘How did I never see that?’

‘There is absolutely no way that is true.’ Leonie said firmly. ‘You look nothing like him at all, and he would have told us…!’

Byleth shrugged. ‘I never called him dad – it’s not really a good idea to announce any kind of ties when you work as a mercenary - it can be used as a weakness against you. The habit of displaying only a remote acquaintance stuck, I guess.’

‘But you didn’t even attend his funeral.’ Leonie was scowling now.

‘I didn’t really see the point in holding a service for an empty box.’ Byleth frowned.

‘Well, that’s just…’ Leonie began, but Claude held up a placating hand and cut her off.

‘Im sorry for your loss Teach.’ He said quietly.

‘Yeah, whatever.’ Byleth crossed her arms. ‘What’s important right now _isn’t_ our familial relationship. Identifying a premises and getting the gym back open is. Jeralt would bloody kill me if he knew it had been shut down.’

‘Um… Professor…’ The timid boy with the glasses had finished serving Jeritza and had made his way back over to his colleagues with a pink slip of paper clutched in his hand.

‘What’s up, Iggy?’ Byleth looked relieved at the interruption.

‘I just took a message for you from Hilda’s brother, Holst.’ Ignatz flushed at suddenly being the centre of attention. He held out the paper urgently.

‘Cheers.’ Byleth took the offered missive and read it over. ‘Huh!’ She looked up at her companions. ‘Looks like Holst’s got me a potential job lined up already.’ She said. ‘I just gotta pass an interview with the client.’

‘So you really _are_ planning on staying a while?’ Claude asked.

Byleth rolled her eyes at him. ‘I already said I’m intent on getting the gym running again, didn’t I? Who else did you think was going to train your sorry arses?’ 

Raphael whooped delightedly.

‘You’ve left Dimitri’s employ?’ Claude sounded stunned. ‘He let you go just like that?’

‘Yes, Claude.’ Byleth folded the note and relaxed back on her seat. ‘For the time being at least, I have stuff I want to do here. Dima understands that - in fact, he’s been extremely accommodating.’

Claude ran a hand through his messy brown mop of hair, a bemused smile on his face. ‘That’s great news, Teach.’ He said softly. ‘His loss is our gain.’

‘My interview is gonna turn up here in ninety minutes.’ Byleth mused. ‘Can I get some space for a while?’ She asked.

Claude nodded. ‘C’mon kids. Let’s give Teach a bit of peace to prepare. We have work to do anyway.’ He chivvied at his colleagues.

‘You _are_ gonna eat though Prof?’ Raphael asked in concern. ‘We can whip you something up in the kitchen.’

‘I’d appreciate it.’ Byleth nodded, rooting around in her rucksack for her phone.

‘I’ll get on that right away.’ Ignatz offered, straightening his golden, branded apron. ‘Won’t take me too long.’ He smiled.

Leonie was still standing by the table with her hands on her hips, frowning. She looked as if she wanted to say something more. Raphael intercepted whatever challenge she was building up to.

‘Let’s get going Leonie.’ He suggested. ‘The evening rush will be along in a minute. We should get prepped and ready.’

Leonie fixed Byleth with a searching glare, but she nodded at Raphael, and they walked away silently together.

‘I reckon your little revelation has knocked her nose right out of joint.’ Claude observed. ‘She’s always been pretty insistent that she was Jeralt’s number one student. Obviously, if you are his _daughter_ …’

Byleth snorted out a laugh. 

Claude smiled back at her, his glorious green eyes softening. ‘Can we talk later then Teach?’ He asked.

‘I’d love to catch up with you Claude.’ She agreed. ‘It’s been quite a while since I was last here.’

‘It has, and a lot has happened!’ He nodded seriously. ‘I’ll make sure you get some space when your interview gets here. What did Holst tell you about it?’ He asked curiously.

‘Not much… I’m gonna give him a call. All I know is that it’s a babysitting job.’ Byleth shrugged. ‘Keeping an eye on a couple of brats belonging to some guy called Seteth.’

‘Oh!’ Claude’s looked surprised. ‘That’s unexpected.’

‘You know them?’ Byleth looked interested.

‘Only by reputation.’ Claude admitted. ‘They are related to the Lady Rhea… you know of them? They are the old-money family that owns that huge PR and fixer firm in the centre of town.’

Byleth thought about it for a second. ‘Is that the overly-dramatic gothic pile known as the Monastery?’ She asked.

‘That’s the headquarters of the company, yeah.’ Claude nodded.

‘Interesting.’

‘I’ve also heard that the kids are a bit of a handful.’ Claude grinned. ‘I’ve not met them myself… but there _are_ tales of burning down schools and generally creating all kinds of mayhem. Actually, if even half of it’s true, I’ll admit to being a little in awe at their mad skills!’

‘Is that so?’ Byleth grinned back at him. ‘Happens that I’ve also been called a bit of a handful in my time too.’ She offered.

‘I can’t imagine why.’ Claude laughed. ‘Well then, I guess I’ll give you some peace now.’ He added, retying his apron tighter around his waist. ‘It is really great that you’re back, though, Teach.’

‘It’s good to be back.’ She agreed with him.

.

As soon as Claude wandered away to oversee the rest of his staff, Byleth put through a call to the number that Holst had left for her.

‘Hey, Byleth!’ Holst sounded upbeat as he answered his phone. ‘You got my message then.’

‘Yeah. Thanks.’ Byleth opened up her laptop bag and set her machine on the table in front of her, powering it up. ‘Are you sending me over the profile?’ She asked.

‘I’ve sent it already.’ Holst told her. ‘We’ve been working this particular commission for several years now… I’ve included a breakdown of the issues our agents have encountered.’

‘Issues?’ Byleth said mildly.

‘The children are… challenging. Not going to lie.’ Holst’s tone remained cheerful. ‘No-one else will take them on anymore.’ He added.

‘That’s rather honest of you.’ Byleth observed.

‘No point to you going in blind.’

‘Agreed.’ Byleth had the information up on her screen and was scanning through the reports. She started to chuckle. ‘Is this for real?’ She asked.

‘I’m afraid so!’ Holst confirmed. ‘As well as being challenging, the kids are fearsomely clever.’

‘Okay.’ Byleth continued reading. ‘Inventive too.’ She observed.

‘You don’t sound all that concerned by it.’ Holst hedged.

Byleth laughed again. ‘Looks like fun to me.’ She admitted. ‘Did you _really_ get cellophaned, Holst?’ She snorted in amusement.

‘I totally didn’t see it coming.’ He admitted merrily. ‘The young lass is as cute as a button and has dimples that should be assigned weapons of mass destruction. She was the distraction while her brother zapped me with his… whatever the hell it was he’d rigged up.’

‘Very cool.’ Byleth ran her eyes over the scant information available about their father. ‘What’s the word on this Seteth guy then?’ 

‘He’s pretty solid.’ Holst reported. ‘Loves his kids to distraction, but he can be a bit of a stickler. Old fashioned, you know?’

‘Aww, crap…’

‘I have an idea that he knew your da pretty well Byleth.’ Holst said quietly. ‘I think your old man may have worked for the family firm in some capacity.’

‘Oh?’ Byleth typed in a search request. 

‘The company is fairly secretive. Obviously, they have a background in dealing with information – they have to in order to be as successful as they are at what they do. The public face is different from the private face, and _that’s_ the side that I believe your dad helped out in.’

‘Should you be telling me this Holst?’ Byleth asked mildly.

‘We have provided their security for a very long time. You are our employee now.’ Holst said firmly. ‘I guess that you are here looking into Jeralt’s death…’

‘Do you?’

‘Byleth. I’m not stupid.’ Holst murmured. ‘Getting his gym back up and running is all well and good, but Jeralt was incinerated in a blast, and nothing of him was recovered at all. I suspect that you don’t even believe that he is dead since you have come running down here so quickly.’

‘Perhaps.’ Byleth murmured.

‘Look, It’s a real coup for us getting The Ashen Demon on our books.’ Holst admitted. ‘I want to play fair and honest with you, and I hope that you will continue to work with us.’

‘We should meet up again, Holst.’ Byleth said firmly. ‘You were supposed to meet me tonight…’

‘Yeah, but I figured getting you a place, especially where it is – was a better option.’

‘I appreciate that.’

‘Seteth isn’t stupid either Byleth. I am thinking he is only seeing you because he is curious about your relationship with Jeralt.’ Holst sighed. ‘He _is_ in a bind with his kids, though. As long as you don’t screw up too badly when you meet him, you should be in.’

‘I’ll do my best, boss!’

Holst chuckled. ‘Call me and let me know how it goes.’ He requested, before terminating the call.

Byleth spent a bit of time surfing for information. There really wasn’t much to be found except for the public face of the PR firm that Seteth apparently worked for. After a while had passed, Byleth started to feel the weight of a stare prickling at her senses. She looked up and noticed Jeritza glowering at her.

‘Ah shit, I forgot.’ She admonished herself, logging off her laptop and grabbing her rucksack. She sidled over to Jeritza’s table.

‘Sorry.’ She apologised. ‘Something came up.’ She dug down to the bottom of her bag and brought out a large plastic container, placing it with a flourish in front of the blond biker.

‘Cake!’ She grinned at him.

‘Hmm.’ Jeritza pulled the box to himself and opened it up. His cold blue eyes lit up at the contents. Byleth was rooting again, then she managed to lay her hands on the thickly stuffed envelope, which she also pulled out and handed to her companion. 

‘Mercedes told me to tell you to call her. I’m pretty sure she will be telling you off in that message.’ Byleth smirked at him.

‘Pfft.’ Jeritza ran a nail underneath the flap of the envelope and pulled out several folded pages of paper.

‘One last thing...’ Byleth said quickly before he could get distracted by his letter. ‘I called in on that shop in Faerghus that does the handmade candies to order. You know the one?’

Jeritza looked up at her in interest.

‘Sherbert fizz is your favourite right?’ She pulled out a huge paper bag.

His face was impassive as he reached for the bag and took out one of the lemony sweets, popping it straight into his mouth. His lips turned up just a fraction at the edges.

‘Bloody hell, Jeritza. Was that an actual smile?’ Byleth winked at him.

‘I am _not_ smiling.’ Jeritza muttered, around a mouthful of goodness.

‘Okay!’ Byleth laughed and went to stand up.

‘Wait!’ Jeritza ordered.

She sat back down and waited as requested while he crunched his candy and swallowed.

‘Will we fight?’ He asked once his mouth was clear.

‘Of course!’ She agreed enthusiastically. ‘As soon as the gym is up and running again.’

‘Good.’ He nodded.

‘I look forward to it.’ Byleth went to stand again.

‘I said, wait!’ He muttered impatiently.

‘Okay?’

He was silent for a moment. Since he very rarely spoke, Byleth was content to sit and allow him to form his words.

‘Why did you arrive in a cab?’ Jeritza asked, finally.

‘Oh…’ Byleth looked momentarily sad. ‘I needed to raise the money to hopefully put a down payment on a property for the new gym, so I sold my bike before I left to come here.’ She admitted.

‘I see.’ His brow furrowed, as he took another candy. As soon as it was in his mouth, he reached into the pocket of his tight leather pants and pulled out a key on a fluffy cat keyring. He shoved it across the table at her.

‘I can’t take your bike, Jeritza.’ Byleth groaned.

‘Hmm. I have loads of them. I own a garage.’ He reminded her. ‘You can use that one while you are in town.’ 

‘That’s kind of you.’ She murmured.

‘Yes. I know.’ He agreed. ‘I want my cat back.’ He added, gesturing at the keychain.

‘Right.’ She freed the key. ‘Cute!’ She added as she passed the plushie back to him.

‘Damage my bike, and I will break your arms.’ Jeritza said placidly.

‘Heh… you can try!’ Byleth smirked.

Jeritza’s micro-smile was back. ‘Perhaps.’ He agreed.

‘I have an interview for work shortly. The guy is coming here. If you want to hang out, then I can give you a lift back later – since I’ve taken your ride…’ Byleth offered.

‘I can always eat more ice cream.’ Jeritza nodded. He looked down at the letter from his sister and then back at Byleth. ‘Mercedes is fond of you.’ He noted absently.

‘I’m very fond of your sister too.’ Byleth agreed.

Jeritza sighed deeply. ‘Do you need somewhere to stay tonight?’ He forced out. ‘Mercedes will only tell me off if I don’t offer.’ He added sulkily.

‘You really know how to make a girl feel special.’ Byleth laughed. ‘I could definitely use a spare couch for the night if it’s not too much hassle.’ She added.

‘It is _extremely_ annoying.’ Jeritza grumbled. ‘But okay.’

‘We can talk later then I guess.’ Byleth stood and scratched the top of his head affectionately.

‘Oh, joy.’ Jeritza deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

.

As she wandered back to her seat, Claude rolled up with a plateful of pie which he placed down in front of Byleth.

‘Did I just see Mr ‘ _’obscenely handsome but broodily silent’’_ actually speaking to you Teach?’ He asked in amazement.

‘Jeritza?’ Byleth laughed. ‘His sister is a very close friend.’ She explained.

‘I don’t think I have ever seen him speak to anyone before.’ Claude mused. ‘He is in here every evening though… he is _totally_ mental for ice cream, and he leaves excellent tips.’

‘He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m planning on bullying him into teaching at the gym.’ Byleth confided. ‘Honest word, I have never met anyone who can weaponise a snooker cue quite like Jeritza. He has some mad skills.’

‘Is that so?’ Claude looked up as the door to the parlour opened.

‘Hey, Marianne!’ He called out as a sweetfaced, blue-haired girl came in. ‘Look whose here!’

The girl came shyly up to the table. Byleth stopped shovelling huge forkfuls of pie into her face for a second. 

‘You are looking well, Marianne!’ Byleth said softly.

‘Oh, I am, thank you, Professor!’ The girl said quietly. ‘It is good to see you again.’ She added with a blush.

‘How’s the farm and the training going?’ Byleth budged along her seat to allow the reticent girl to sit.

‘It’s all good.’ Marianne clasped her hands together nervously.

‘I hope you will still have time to come along to the gym when we reopen and patch us up.’ Byleth added, starting to eat again.

‘Oh yes… I’d love to.’ Marianne nodded. 

‘Uh, Teach… your guy’s just arrived.’ Claude suddenly interrupted.

‘He’s early.’ Byleth grumbled, resisting the urge to look around and get a good look at him.

‘The kids are with him too.’ Claude whispered. ‘They are going up to the counter…’

‘Well, they can damned well wait for me to finish eating.’ Byleth grouched.

‘Looks like they are getting ice cream.’ Marianne said, staring interestedly at the trio of green-haired strangers. ‘Oh… the older man is looking over now.’ Marianne’s eyes went back to her hands.

‘He’s early. He can wait.’ Byleth repeated belligerently.

‘You might have to tell _him_ that.’ Claude chuckled. ‘It looks like he’s heading over.’


	3. Chapter Three

Seteth’s head was already hurting even before the bright neon, and invasive background noise of the Ice Cream Parlour assaulted his senses like a million tiny needles burrowing into his brain. The menu that was presented to him when he went to the counter with his children in tow didn’t help one little bit either.

‘Seriously… I am not sure I know what half of the things on this list even are.’ He muttered to Linhardt. ‘Let alone how to ‘’build my dream cream’’…’

‘I don’t think I do either! How utterly fascinating!’ Linhardt agreed cheerfully.

‘Can I help?’ The boy with the glasses behind the desk had wandered over and noted the look of exasperation on Seteth’s face.

‘Do you have a set of instructions that explain’s how to work your menu?’ Linhardt asked politely.

‘That would be me I guess… My name is Iggy, and I will be your guide to pleasure!’ Ignatz whipped a large drawing pad up from under the counter. ‘Is it your first time at a Dreamy Cream’s?’ He asked seriously.

Flayn giggled, hopping up on a barstool and resting her elbows on the tabletop. ‘It’s my first time here, but it’s certainly not my first time eating ice cream!’ She teased, batted her lashes winsomely at the lad.

Seteth frowned as the young server blushed bright red and began trying to stutter out the basics of the necessary explanation. His headache ramped up another notch, as the boy's words flew directly over his head. He needed to focus. Turning his back to the server, Seteth let his gaze wander around the parlour, interested to see if the woman he was meeting was here yet. 

A number of the booths contained parents with children younger than his own, so he discounted them immediately. In one corner sat a solitary man wearing biker leathers, sunglasses and a very concentrated expression as he attacked a large bowl of sweet confection with extreme diligence. A few of the tables were host to gaggles of adolescents talking loudly together, sipping drinks of various colours and sharing platters of ice with multiple spoons.

It was the last table that he scoped that had Seteth pondering thoughtfully. A relaxed, dark-haired lad lounged comfortably on one side of the booth, talking animatedly. He was wearing the gold apron of an employee, and he was vaguely familiar - as if Seteth should know who he was… or perhaps he was acquainted with his parents in some fashion. 

The sweet-faced girl opposite suddenly turned to look directly at Seteth although her eyes were downcast and shy, and her expression was timid. As soon as she realised that she had been spotted in her observation, her gaze moved quickly away, and she stared fixedly down at her hands instead. 

It was the third person at the table that gave Seteth the most pause. She was shovelling some kind of pie into her mouth with a speed and a lack of manners that was jarring, and her face was set in a mask of annoyance. She appeared older than her companions although certainly not by much – her shoulder-length dark hair was held back from her face with a practical band, and her blue eyes were intent only on her food. Unconsciously Seteth took a few steps forward towards the table.

‘Dad!’ Flayn’s dulcet tones snapped him out of his reverie, and he paused to turn back to his daughter. ‘Are you going to choose an ice cream or what?’ She demanded impatiently.

‘Why don’t you ‘‘create a dream’’ for me?’ He requested, reaching into his jacket pocket to grab his wallet and hand it over to Linhardt. ‘Order whatever you wish… I believe that I have spotted Miss Eisner, the lady I am here to see - so I’m just going to head on over and have a word with her.’

‘Oh..! Where is she?’ Flayn asked excitedly, scanning the crowd of other diners.

‘Miss Eisner… The Professor… is that lady right there…’ Ignatz supplied helpfully gesturing towards the woman that Seteth had correctly identified as Byleth.

‘ _She_ is a Professor?’ Linhardt asked incredulously, staring at the woman who was still focused on nothing except getting as much food into her face as possible.

‘Heh, well not an _actual_ Professor, no…’ Ignatz chuckled. ‘She spends some time training a number of us here in defensive arts, at a local gym. Her lectures are really quite legendary…’ He added with a soft smile.

‘Just look at her! She is _so_ pretty!’ Flayn cooed happily. ‘Isn’t she dad?’

Seteth spluttered a bit. ‘I hardly think the personal aesthetic of a person is of any real importance when looking to engage an employee.’ He mumbled.

‘That definitely wasn’t a denial.’ Linhardt smirked knowingly.

‘I can assure you, sir, that the Professor would make an _excellent_ employee!’ Ignatz declared with starry-eyed loyalty. ‘Anyone would be extremely fortunate to have her on board.’

‘Oh, how very adorable are _you_!’ Flayn’s attention turned back to the boy behind the counter, who blushed to his roots when she beamed her dimples directly at him.

‘Excuse me.’ Seteth murmured to his children, and he set off with purpose towards his target.

‘Miss Eisner?’ He asked when he reached the table.

Byleth looked up, her face expressionless as she wiped crumbs from around her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘Yes.’ She agreed. ‘I apologise that I am not entirely prepared for our meeting,’ Her eyes flickered to her almost empty plate of pie. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be quite so early.’

‘My apologies.’ Seteth’s look took in her two companions at the booth as well. ‘Would you like me to give you a little more time? I realise that I am the one at fault here.’

Byleth shook her head and pushed her plate towards Claude, who picked it up as he squeezed out of his seat. Marianne also stood, flushing as she sidled past Seteth.

‘I’ll make sure no-one bothers the two of you Teach.’ Claude winked at Byleth before giving Seteth a rather frank appraisal as the man stepped back to allow him to move away.

Byleth stood as well, and once Claude was gone, she held out her hand respectfully. ‘Byleth Eisner.’ She said quietly.

Seteth was genuinely surprised by the strength of her grip when he took her tiny hand in his own to shake. ‘Thank you for agreeing to meet with me at such short notice.’ He offered.

‘Holst filled me in on today’s events.’ A flicker of amusement danced in her eyes. She looked over at the green-haired siblings still at the counter pouring over the menu with the ever solicitous Ignatz and both Claude and Marianne who were now providing input too. ‘I have to say that your children really do appear to be completely ingenuous… always a handy tool to have in your arsenal when you are planning nefarious deeds!’

‘That’s certainly one way of looking at it.’ Seteth said weakly.

Byleth retook her seat and motioned for him to join her. He slid into the chair opposite and templed his hands on the table, taking a deep reflective breath. He searched her features intently, looking for any resemblance he could find to her father in her large eyes and delicate symmetrical features. When he found nothing he could immediately discern, his irritation grew.

Byleth’s head cocked to one side under his silent scrutiny. She stared right back at him with undisguised interest.

‘I can’t help but feel that you may have already made up your mind that I am not what you are looking for.’ Byleth stated, waving off his protest before it began. ‘It isn’t that you are exuding any kind of hostility… but you _are_ looking very discomforted by something. You have seemed that way from the moment you rolled up to the table. Am I right?’

Seteth’s brow furrowed at her astute assessment. ‘I am sorry you feel that way, Miss Eisner – let me assure you that it is not my intention to waste your time _or_ my own.’ His eyes narrowed. ‘Your bio was more than impressive enough to gain my interest, although I admit I _am_ struggling to understand how you could possibly have gained quite so much practical experience given your tender years.’

Byleth relaxed back in the booth with a small smile playing at her lips. ‘Then you are concerned that my stated achievements are somehow a work of fiction?’ She asked lightly.

‘I have every faith in Goneril Security and their rigid vetting process.’ Seteth replied carefully. ‘They would not be all that easy to dupe, and if someone were to manage it, they would have to be very skilled indeed.’ He paused to look for any reaction. Her face was like stone. ‘I am also concerned by the fact that you show no familial resemblance in the slightest to the man that you purport to be your father.’ He added. 

Byleth shrugged, unoffended. ‘Jeralt always _said_ that he was my da.’ She offered in explanation. ‘I honestly can’t come up with any reason that he would lie about the fact, given that he encumbered himself with a small child while working to develop his reputation as a mercenary. It would have been a far easier task to achieve without me tagging along after him everywhere.’

‘Could he not have left you with your mother?’ Seteth realised that he was pushing, but against his better judgement, his interest was thoroughly piqued now.

‘If this isn’t actually an interview, Seteth… should we be calling it an interrogation instead?’ The woman’s voice was cooly amused.

It was a direct challenge to his professionalism. If this person was, in fact, an attempted plant by Dimitri Blaiddyd as he had suspected from the start, then she was pushing all of his buttons and then some. His arms crossed over his chest. ‘You are under no obligation at all to remain sitting here, Miss Eisner.’ He pointed out.

For a mere second, she looked like she was considering walking away, but instead, she sighed profoundly. ‘Holst was right then.’ She said quietly. ‘You _did_ know my father?’

Seteth was surprised at the wistful catch in her voice. 

‘I knew Jeralt.’ He agreed. ‘I would like to think that I knew him well enough that he would have mentioned _you_ at some stage in the time that I worked with him.’

‘The kid’s here didn’t know about our true relationship either.’ Byleth looked over at the staff who were still clustered around Seteth’s children. ‘Jeralt could be… cautious – suspicious even.’ Byleth shook her head and hit Seteth with a direct gaze. ‘He also never mentioned to _me_ that he had any occupation in this town other than the gym he ran.’ She said flatly.

‘His work for us was casual.’ Seteth murmured. ‘He refused to come back to us in any sort of official capacity.’

‘He’d worked for you before then, as well?’ Byleth asked quickly.

Seteth was silent for a moment, pondering his reply. ‘Many years ago.’ He finally offered. ‘Before he had a disagreement with our boss and completely disappeared.’

‘That must have been before I was born.’ Byleth mused.

‘It was over twenty years ago.’ Seteth nodded, then his eyes turned sharp. ‘Look. I checked it out before I came here tonight. _We_ have his emergency contact as someone called Alois Rangeld. As I understand it, all of his effects went directly to him on Jeralt’s death. That being the case, you must see how it is difficult to take your assertion that you are related seriously.’

‘Jeralt’s will named _me_.’ Byleth gave Seteth a challenging look. ‘I am meeting with his lawyer tomorrow to get the key to his lock-up. All of his actual possessions are stored there as per his wishes.’ Her tone had become belligerent.. and for a second, the slightest hint of Jeralt’s own prickly nature shone from her in spades.

‘You think it is wise to broadcast that particular fact?’ Seteth asked with a raised brow. ‘You have no idea who I am, after all.’

‘I sent a text to Uncle Alois.’ Byleth held up her phone. ‘Seems he’d heard of you from my da. He believes you can be trusted.’

Seteth took the handset she offered him.

<<… _Did_ _Da ever mention a guy called Seteth?_...>>

<<… _A few times maybe._ _He’s a good egg by all accounts, kiddo_ …>>

‘This Alois is a relative then?’ Seteth handed the phone back thoughtfully.

‘Not a blood one.’ Byleth smiled as she replaced the phone in her backpack. ‘He was a recruit my da trained a lifetime ago. I’ve been living with him and his family while I was working in Faerghus.’

Seteth’s rigid posture relaxed slightly. ‘Holst said that you came here intending to re-open Jeralt’s gym. Is that true?’ He asked keenly.

‘It was possibly the only thing I ever saw him truly proud of.’ Byleth nodded. ‘That and the kids he was teaching. He was genuinely happy working with them all. To let that go… it doesn’t seem right, or a fitting requiem to the man himself.’

‘You gave up your position with Blaiddyd to come here…’ Seteth was prodding again.

Byleth stared at him. ‘I also want to work out what got him killed.’ She said emotionlessly.

Seteth’s eyes widened at her candour. ‘It wasn’t anything he was working on for us.’ He muttered honestly, surprising himself with his own reply. ‘I don’t believe that we were the only people he took on jobs for though.’ He added quietly.

‘Hey, Teach!’ Claude sauntered back up to the table with a large plate balancing in his hand. ‘The young lass at the desk ordered _this_ for the two of you…’ He placed the dish on the table between Byleth and Seteth with a broad grin, then took a lighter from the pocket in his apron and set alight the four sparklers that were planted into the dessert. ‘ _This_ is our lovebirds special!’ He smirked, handing each of them a long spoon. ‘Enjoy!’ He winked, then chuckled and scooted away.

Seteth’s face was already an interesting shade of purple. ‘Flayn..!’ He groaned, staring down at the vast humps of pink ice cream that were covered in little cookie hearts, lashings of red syrup and of course the fiercely roaring multicoloured sparks of fire. ‘I swear that girl…’

‘Seteth… relax! No, don’t look over at her… eyes on me!’ Byleth commanded, her lips barely moving.

‘What?’ In his confusion, Seteth did as he was told. Byleth fluttered her lashes at him. 

‘Take your spoon and feed me some of that ice cream.’ Byleth was smiling sweetly at him, her eyes fixed on his.

‘Miss Eisner I hardly think that would be appropriate…’ 

‘Hey… your kid is looking for your reaction yeah?’ Byleth daintily picked up one of the cookie hearts in her fingers and coyly held it out towards him. ‘Don’t give her the reaction she is expecting.’ She urged, merriment twinkling in her eyes.

Seteth looked flummoxed for a second and then unexpectedly, a boyish smile played over his face. He plucked the cookie from Byleth’s fingers and put it in his mouth while scooping up some of the ice-cream onto his spoon and offering it over to his companion. ‘You are rather fiendish… Miss Eisner.’ He congratulated.

‘How often do you actually manage to get one over on your brats?’ Byleth accepted the sweet graciously, closing her eyes as she rolled it around in her mouth.

‘Literally never.’ Seteth admitted wryly.

‘Reckon you can call this one a big win then!’ Byleth opened her eyes and looked over to where Flayn was stood, her mouth hanging open in shock.

‘Hey, Iggy!’ Byleth called. ‘Do you think you could make our little Princess there one of your special artworks? Add it to my tab!’ She smiled winningly at Flayn. ‘Thanks, kid!’ She mouthed at the girl, then laughed aloud when Flayn shook her head and turned to pull herself back up onto her barstool with an unbelieving shrug of her shoulders. Linhardt had his head in his hands, covering his eyes.

‘Go team us!’ Byleth congratulated Seteth holding up a fist for him to bump. 

‘That _was_ rather satisfying.’ Seteth agreed although he was still blushing as he awkwardly brought his hand up to complete the gesture.

‘Well, at least it means your little trip out wasn’t an entire waste of time.’ Byleth grinned, helping herself to another large spoonful of ice cream which she slurped noisily.

‘You certainly called the situation rather admirably.’ Seteth tried not to wince at the noises she was making as she happily dug considerable dents into the mountainous desert.

‘Heh, well… have you ever seen the sort of shit that a bunch of mercenaries will get up to when they pull a particularly boring guard duty?’ Byleth asked through a mouthful of slop. ‘Being the youngest… and usually the only female member of the team… I was often the one at the sharp end of their shenanigans… until I learned not to be!’

‘Unsurprisingly no… I have no idea what that would be like. I do have two brothers who have always conspired to make my life as miserable as possible, though.’ Seteth admitted.

‘Poor Seteth. Your brother’s _and_ your kids?’

‘It’s tough to be me.’ Seteth smiled.

‘Huh.’ Byleth put down her spoon and sat back in her chair. ‘You have a nice smile. You should use it more often.’ 

Seteth sighed. ‘And now _you_ are teasing me too.’ He moaned.

Byleth laughed. ‘Only a little.’ She agreed easily. ‘Seteth… do you have anything that might help me in tracking down what happened to Jeralt? Someone I might talk to or… well, anything?’

‘We looked into it ourselves, Miss Eisner.’ Seteth replied quietly. ‘We could find no reason at all that could explain why your father was where he was when the building went up.’

A small cloud passed over her features. ‘Ah well, I could hardly expect it to be that easy, huh!’ She said. ‘Thank’s for sharing though… if you do hear anything, I would be grateful if you could track me down and let me know.’

Seteth blinked at her. ‘We haven’t decided if you are going to come and work for me yet.’ He pointed out. ‘Although, I understand if you don’t want to.’

‘Hey, it's fine, honestly!’ Byleth said earnestly. ‘I get that you are unsure of me… and believe me, I am more than used to people being lairy about my age when it comes to perceiving ability. They are your _kids_ – so I reckon for your own peace of mind you need someone you are much more comfortable with looking out for them. No hard feelings, okay?’

Seteth was not the sort of man to be impulsive. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around his desire to protest when he had been handed an out of the situation.

‘Do you want the job?’ He asked again.

Byleth nodded seriously. ‘When I signed up with Goneril security, I assumed that I’d end up nursing some egomaniac.’ She cringed. ‘I am used to a far more active role than pandering to a celebrity or politician. It ain’t that I _couldn’t_ do it… after all, my da trained me – but I really ain’t sure that I wanna do it. It’s a case of need’s must though. I need cash if I’m to get the gym back up and running… and I have the skill-set required.’

‘If it happened that Jeralt somehow survived the blast he was in, and I’d failed to help his daughter, he would quite literally eviscerate me.’ Seteth mused.

‘You don’t believe he is dead either?’ Byleth asked sharply.

Seteth looked up at her, and there was compassion in his eyes. ‘I spoke out of turn, Miss Eisner.’ He said gently. ‘The CCTV shows him entering the building before it incinerated and collapsed. There was no indication that he left it alive.’ 

‘There were also no remains found at all…’ Byleth pointed out stoically.

‘No.’ Seteth sighed. ‘Another mystery to add to the pile.’

‘Regardless.’ Byleth added. ‘I wouldn’t throw you under a bus if Jeralt did turn up alive. No need to let him know you didn’t want to recruit me. I’d hate for your kids to be orphaned!’ She managed a grin in his direction.

‘How kind.’ Seteth couldn’t help returning her smile. ‘Perhaps we could try an arrangement for a couple of days and see how it works out?’ He offered.

‘Are you _that_ desperate Seteth?’ 

He looked over at his children. Flayn was clapping excitedly as Ignatz crafted a miniature three-dimensional portrait of her in ice-cream. At the same time, Linhardt had persuaded the timid blue-haired girl to share some kind of fizzing orange tower of delight with him, while talking nineteen to the dozen. The girl was looking mildly scared at the attention. He sighed deeply.

‘Pretty desperate, yes.’ He admitted.

‘Okay, then.’ Byleth nodded happily. ‘We can give it a few days trial and see where we stand.’ She picked out another cookie heart from the mess of ice cream and dead sparklers that still sat between them, and held it out to him.

‘Um. Thanks.’ He took it gingerly. ‘I don’t have to feed _you_ again, do I?’ He asked fearfully.

‘That doesn’t necessarily _have_ to go in the contract.’ Byleth smirked.


	4. Chapter Four

Seteth wanted nothing more than to head off home as soon as his conversation with the enigmatic Miss Eisner was concluded, but just as he was suggesting that he introduce Byleth to his children before they took their leave, the doors to the parlour slid open, and a very loud and excited pink-haired woman rushed in.

‘Professor! You _are_ here!’ The woman wasted no time whatsoever in throwing herself exuberantly at Byleth who groaned slightly at the affectionate pummelling she received. ‘I didn’t actually believe Claude when he said you were coming back to try and reinstate the gym…’ The girl continued without pause. ‘… And then just _imagine_ my surprise when I received a text from him not thirty minutes ago revealing that you are actually Jeralt’s daughter!’

‘Hello, Hilda… it’s good to see you too.’ Byleth managed to get out when the woman finally stopped for breath. 

‘Well, of course, it is!’ Hilda agreed. ‘Professor how could you have possibly thought it was okay to keep such a delectable secret from us for all that time… I am hurt, truly!’ She pouted at Byleth, then suddenly noticed Seteth sat on the other side of the booth. ‘Oh, hello!’ Hilda’s focus switched quickly to the older man, letting go of Byleth to hold out an exquisitely manicured hand to him.

‘I’m Hilda Valentine Goneril.’ She introduced herself. ‘You must be Seteth! Holst told me you were coming to interview the Professor… He is my brother by the way!’ She explained taking a quick look round the parlour. ‘Oh! Are those the children who cellophaned Holst up?’ She asked with a grin, indicating Flayn and Linhardt who were still at the counter of the shop. ‘That was just the most wonderfully awesome thing I have ever heard… I wish I could have seen it!’ 

Wordlessly Seteth took out his phone and brought up the photo that he had sent to his brothers earlier. He handed it to Hilda.

‘No way!’ The girl wailed with laughter, handing the device over to Byleth to take a look. ‘I simply must go and congratulate them both! Amazing!’ 

‘I’m not sure that they should be lauded for their behaviour, Miss Goneril.’ Seteth replied severely, taking his handset back from a grinning Byleth. ‘After all, Miss Eisner has kindly agreed to trial the role of minding them – so it would hardly be fair on her to encourage their shenanigans any further.’

‘Hey, Professor! You got the job? Alright!’ Hilda beamed at Byleth. ‘I’m betting on _her_ by the way!’ She added to Seteth with a wink. ‘No way _she_ is going to be outdone by a couple of kids - no matter how clever they are!’ 

Once again, Hilda’s mercurial focus shifted when the doors to the parlour opened, and a purple-haired lad stumbled in under the weight of several large bags.

‘Hilda! You could have helped…’ He moaned in annoyance, dropping his burden as soon as he was through into the eating area. ‘When I agreed to aid you, I didn’t mean…’ The boy’s gaze fell on Byleth. He smiled at her and performed an exceptionally graceful honest-to-goodness bow. ‘Professor…’ He murmured, reaching out to take her hand and bringing it to his lips. ‘You are looking as lovely as ever!’

‘Save it for someone who gives a shit, Lorenz…’ Byleth laughed, poking him in the forehead. ‘Does that routine ever actually work?’

‘Honestly… no.’ Lorenz smiled back at Byleth, completely unoffended. ‘I live in hope though…’

‘Hey, Professor! Claude let me open a stall in the parlour!’ Hilda had pushed Byleth along the seat and taken a pew next to her. ‘I’ve designed a load of Dreamy Cream merchandise, but there’s some of my own stuff too!’ She beamed.

‘Still refusing to join the family business then?’ Byleth asked in amusement.

‘I am a delicate flower… How could I possibly work in security.’ Hilda grinned.

‘Right…of course you are!’ 

‘Lorenz… open up the stall for me – there’s a dear!’ Hilda fluttered her eyelashes outrageously at the lad. ‘I need to show the Professor what I’ve been up to!’

‘I’ve already carried all your bag’s in Hilda… I’m not your employee… Do it yourself!’ Lorenz grouched.

‘How rude!’ Hilda complained. ‘Help me at least…’ She simpered.

Lorenz rolled his eyes. ‘Fine.’ He sighed. ‘I will help – just this once.’ He said firmly.

‘Wonderful!’ Hilda clapped her hands happily. ‘Give us a few minutes, Professor – they come and have a look!’

‘Alright.’ Byleth nodded.

Hilda jumped up. Lorenz went and picked up the bag’s he had dropped and carried them over to a curtained off area in the corner of the room.

‘Holst mentioned that his sister was challenging.’ Seteth noted under his breath as he watched Hilda run over to his children to introduce herself, instead of following Lorenz to her stall.

‘She is certainly a force of nature.’ Byleth chuckled. ‘Jeralt was just about the only person I know who could get her to actually do anything she was told!’

‘Well, it does look like you have some catching up to do here, Miss Eisner…’ Seteth appeared a little overwhelmed. He certainly felt out of place and off-kilter. ‘I think we will take our leave now. Perhaps you could hold off on meeting my children until tomorrow…’

‘Past your bedtime already?’ Byleth smirked at him.

Seteth bit back a retort as a flash of irritation swept over him.

‘So, when do you want me to commence our trial-run?’ Byleth asked when it became apparent there was no reply forthcoming.

‘Tomorrow?’ Seteth eyed her covertly, but she didn’t display any obvious concern about starting immediately. ‘I usually leave for work at eight, but we will need to go over all of the security details on the first day, so would seven o’clock be amenable?’ 

‘Cool.’ Byleth nodded. She glanced over to where Hilda had one arm around Marianne’s shoulder and her other around Linhardt's. Both were blushing fiercely. Flayn was hopping on one foot and clapping in excitement. ‘I think your boy needs rescuing.’ She noted with a chuckle. 

Seteth frowned. ‘Indeed.’ He stood up and offered another handshake. ‘I will see you in the morning then, Miss Eisner.’ 

‘Call me Byleth…’ She pumped his hand sharply.

Seteth stared at her searchingly for a moment - a small frown creasing his brow, then he turned abruptly and called to Flayn and Linhardt. Both children put up a token resistance at being told they were leaving, but they were also both astute enough to quickly registered that their father had his determined and severe face on. Seteth managed to rapidly hustle the three of them out the door without any major drama.

.

The drive home wasn’t a very long one, but from the second the car door had closed Flayn was immediately teasing Lindhart.

‘So, you have a studied interest in cows now Linny?’ She smirked at him.

‘Cows are rather fascinating creatures.’ Linhardt replied shortly.

‘Oh, I know!’ Flayn giggled. ‘As you pointed out to Marianne – it is simply amazing how all cows are female and predominately eat grass…’

‘Fact.’ Linhardt muttered.

‘Indeed!’ Flayn agreed merrily. ‘Although I think my _favourite_ observation was that they produce milk…’ She collapsed into laughter.

‘Also factual…’ Linhardt replied defensively.

‘Right… and I am sure those pearls of wisdom came as a _complete_ surprise to a girl who lives on a cow farm and is training to be a vet!’ Flayn had to wipe at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. ‘Smooth, Linny… real smooth!’

‘Pfft.’ Linhardt snorted. ‘I got her number didn’t I?’

‘No, brother… thankfully Hilda intercepted your woeful overture and got her number for you…’ 

Seteth’s knuckles were white with the intensity that he was gripping the steering wheel of the car. He wisely stayed silent, though. It would only take a tiny shift in attention for the children to recall his own ill-advised moment with Miss Eisner and the ice-cream. How in the hell had he thought _that_ had been a good idea?

It wasn’t until Seteth was firmly ensconced in his own office, with a slightly larger than usual tumbler of fine malt in his hand that his tension alleviated in the slightest. Stretching out his legs and reclining back in the heavy leather chair, he closed his eyes and replayed his meeting with Byleth Eisner in minute detail… a particular skill afforded by his typically concise and ordered mind.

He couldn’t quite work out what it was that had possessed him to actually give the girl a trial. She had been quite correct in her assessment that his mind had been primarily made up to reject her even before their meeting – but that his curiosity around the issue of her possibly being Jeralt’s daughter had prompted him to attend anyway.

Thoughtfully he grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from his drawer.

****CONCERNS ABOUT BYLETH EISNER(?)****

  * Potentially NOT Jeralt Eisner’s legitimate daughter.
  * Possible plant by Dimitri Blaiddyd.
  * Both recorded, and visible age not correlated to suggested physical experience.
  * Noted over-confident attitude and familiarity.
  * Engages quickly with people.
  * Ability to sound sincere.
  * Appalling table-habits.
  * ~~Extremely attractive.~~



Seteth pushed the paper away with a frustrated growl. It was her age. Mainly her age. She had been cleared to work through the most trusted security firm that he knew. She had somehow managed to draw him - a seasoned agent – in, with seemingly no effort on her part whatsoever.

He was merely tired, he told himself wearily. Things at work had been manic since Jeralt’s demise- and in him, they had all lost someone who had appeared to be downright superhuman. Then there was the ongoing issues with the protection of his offspring. No wonder his mind was fried. He pulled open his drawer again and grabbed his tablet, switching it on and putting through a call request to his brothers.

‘Hey, Seteth… what’s up?’ Indech’s face and hulking shoulders appeared on the screen. 

‘Sorry, it’s late.’ Seteth murmured. ‘Is Mac home? I wouldn’t mind having a word with the both of you.’

‘Are you trying to suggest I might have some kind of social life?’ Macuil pushed against his much larger brother’s shoulder to get into frame. ‘I’m guessing this is about losing your latest childminder?’ He added with a smirk.

‘Holst _did_ retire his service. Yes.’ Seteth muttered. ‘You both saw what my little demons did to him… it’s hardly surprising.’

‘You have that meeting you need to attend with Rhea tomorrow don’t you.’ Mac looked thoughtful. ‘I’m not too snowed under bro. I can watch the kids for a few days.’

‘You didn’t think to mention that to me earlier?’ Seteth growled.

‘Just thought of it.’ Mac shrugged.

‘We spent a fair amount of this evening looking over the schematics that Linhardt sent us for that mechanism he used.’ Indech added. ‘Ingenious!’ 

‘Anyway, problem solved Seteth.’ Mac had moved away from the screen. ‘I’m sure the Goneril’s will find _someone_ to take over with a couple of day’s grace.’

‘Actually, they already have.’

‘Huh! That’s quick.’ Mac’s face reappeared. ‘What’s the problem then?’

‘I met with the new hire this evening… I am not sure about her.’

‘The Goneril’s have never let us down Seteth.’ Indech said seriously. ‘You have personally gone through numerous of their personnel already… The problem isn’t exactly with the quality of the staff themselves.’

‘None have managed to outwit a pair of children.’ Seteth pointed out.

Indech chuckled. ‘Well, it is _those_ particular children! It’s hardly a surprise to any of us, is it? Besides, security are supposed to give a certain amount of leeway to their clients while not allowing them to take unnecessary risks. They aren’t directly trained to manage teasing assaults from the client’s themselves.’

‘Cut to the chase Seteth.’ Macuil cut in impatiently. ‘What’s your problem with this person?’

‘She’s young. Early twenties.’ Seteth offered.

‘And?’

‘Her previous work was for Dimitri Blaiddyd.’

‘And?’ Macuil’s tone was hardening. ‘Look. I said I can be free. I can always put in some surveillance if you are _that_ bothered by her. Although, personally, if the Goneril’s are employing her – I can’t see what your issue is.’

‘Covert surveillance?’ Seteth asked interestedly.

‘Sure.’ Macuil smirked. ‘It _is_ one of my specialities bro.’

‘I’ll send you over her information then.’ Seteth nodded.

‘Don’t.’ Macuil commanded. ‘I’d prefer to approach this kind of reconnaissance without any preconceived idea’s. It will give a more rounded viewpoint.’

‘Yes, I understand - but there is one other thing you should know…’ Seteth insisted.

Macuil’s smirk was back. ‘I require nothing more Seteth!’ He insisted. ‘I will have an in-depth analysis of this woman’s full character and intentions _and_ have them ready to present to you in a nice little box and all tied up with a bow within two days.’ He said confidently.

‘My money is on Mac.’ Indech’s eyes were shining.

‘Mine is on Byleth.’ Seteth murmured.

~0~

It was past midnight when Jeritza sped up to the massive barn conversion that housed both his legitimate motorcycle servicing business and his home. Byleth was gripping onto his back, her exhilaration at the wild and abandoned ride plastered to her face.

‘That was fun!’ She complimented when she slid off the seat, and he handed the key to the machine back to her.

Jeritza merely grunted.

Byleth followed her reluctant host into the sparse open-planned living space, gazing around at the uncomplicated arrangement in appreciation, but refrained from commenting, knowing Jeritza’s preference to avoid small talk. She chucked her bags down by the surprisingly comfortable looking corner sofa as Jeritza moved to the kitchen area to switch on the kettle.

‘I have a spare room.’ It had been several minutes since either of them had spoken, but Jeritza eventually approached with a cup of black coffee in a mug decorated with playful kittens which he handed off to her. ‘You don’t need to sleep on the couch.’ He explained.

‘Cheers.’ Byleth nodded. ‘I’ll be out of your hair by six. Thanks for doing this.’

Jeritza indicated a corridor that was leading away at the back of the kitchen then set off at a fast stride. The first door he came to, he pushed open.

‘I keep my collection in this room.’ He said quietly, stepping aside to let Byleth in. Row upon row of display cases met her started gaze. 

‘Cats?’ Byleth asked, staring open-mouthed at the hundreds of statues and toys in various mediums – but all in the shape of felines. ‘Fodlan’s finest cat-burglar collects cats?’ She couldn’t help her chuckle.

‘I _steal_ cats.’ Jeritza replied, affronted by the suggestion that he may have come into their possession by legitimate means.

‘I thought your only target was information these days.’ Byleth admitted.

Jeritza’s lips quirked. ‘Unless there is a cat… then I steal the cat too.’

‘Any real ones?’ Byleth hadn’t noticed any animals in the property.

‘I’m allergic…’ Jeritza mumbled.

‘What?’

‘I’m allergic to animal hair.’ He repeated louder, his smile broadening ever so slightly. ‘Go figure, huh.’

‘Nutter…’ Byleth huffed out a laugh. ‘Pretty impressive collection though Jez… gotta say.’

‘Yes.’ He agreed proudly, lightly touching her wrist and indicating they leave.

They walked in comfortable silence further down the corridor, until Jeritza opened a second door.

‘Spare room.’ He announced.

Byleth gawped at the space, large enough not only for a bed but a table and a couple of chairs as well as the usual bedroom furniture. A second room leading off turned out to be a sizable en-suite, and there was also a door that led outside into a lawn and patioed courtyard.

‘Whoa…’

‘It is suitable?’ Jeritza asked shyly.

‘Too good for the likes of me!’ Byleth grinned up at him.

‘I spoke with Mercedes when we were at the parlour.’ Jeritza refused to meet Byleth’s eyes. ‘She said it would be good for me to have a housemate – for a while...’

Byleth shook her head as she bounced on the bed, testing out the firm mattress.

‘Don’t listen to her Jez.’ She smiled at him. ‘You don’t have to do everything that the mean old bully tells you to do!’

Jeritza shuffled awkwardly. ‘It’s usually a whole lot easier to do whatever I’m told where my sister is concerned…’ He mumbled.

‘Well, yeah, I get that. I _am_ Mercedes friend after all. I’ve been on the hard end of her advice any number of times myself!’

‘You don’t want a place to stay?’ Jeritza finally removed his sunglasses, and his cold blue eyes met hers. ‘Mercedes said that paying for lodgings would cut into the money you need to reopen the gym.’ His brow knitted.

‘Well that’s true, but you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in your own home. That would suck. One night, yeah… it’s helpful – but longer…’

‘You aren’t entirely repulsive Byleth.’ Jeritza crossed his arms, protectively over his chest. ‘You fight as well as I do, you can work a spanner competently and… you are fully aware of my past…’

‘Still, I think you would prefer to be alone.’

‘Probably.’ Jeritza shrugged.

‘Although maybe…’ Byleth suddenly smiled up, wickedly at him. ‘A little cohabiting practice _might_ be useful just in case one Felix Fraldarius were to ever suggest such an arrangement hmm?’

Jeritza blushed to his roots. ‘Mercedes is _incapable_ of keeping her mouth shut.’ He grumbled.

‘Don’t blame your sister for that one!’ Byleth laughed. ‘The way you two stuttered and blushed around each other the last time you were in Faerghus… I’m pretty sure _everyone_ picked up on it!’

‘I take it back. You are incredibly annoying. Leave at once!’ Jeritza poked her arm hard, but his smile was genuine.

‘Alright! I’ll stick around a few days at least.’ Byleth shook her head. ‘I dunno, it might even be fun.’

‘I very much doubt that.’ Jeritza complained.


	5. Chapter Five

Seteth had showered, dressed and was restlessly pacing the kitchen just before dawn even though sleep had not come quickly or easily the night before. Unable to settle down to any tasks other than preparing yet another set of induction notes - time marched very slowly towards the hour that Byleth had agreed to arrive.

Since he had failed to properly facilitate a meeting between his children and their new hire while at the ice cream parlour, Seteth had requested that Flayn and Linhardt ensured they were out of bed before he left for work so that he could personally supervise their introduction.

By the time it got to thirty minutes before Byleth was due, he could plainly hear Flayn bumping around upstairs getting herself ready, but there was no indication that Linhardt had roused at all.

<<…. _Get up!_ ... >>

His text to his son was short and to the point. He waited - impatiently. There was no reply.

‘Hey dad!’ Flayn skipped into the kitchen and headed straight to the refrigerator.

‘Did you see any sign of your brother on your way down?’ Seteth enquired, frowning.

‘Nope… he was up till silly o’clock texting that girl from the parlour last night!’ Flayn giggled.

Seteth’s brow raised. ‘How do you know that?’ He asked.

‘I got uncle Mac to help me hack his phone…’ Flayn waved her own neon pink handset towards her father with no shame whatsoever. ‘Marianne didn’t actually respond to him beyond one shy little message right at the start. _He_ spent hours sending a whole ream of useless facts that I bet she already knows. It’s pretty tragic, really! I think you need to give him some lessons in wooing girls dad!’

Seteth spluttered incoherently. He threw his hands in the air, shaking his head. Proper words didn’t seem possible – he wouldn’t even know where to start unpicking all of the issues he had with his daughter’s matter-of-fact statement. Flayn beamed her dimples sweetly at him, just to add insult to injury. With a quiet giggle, she carried her glass of orange juice to the kitchen table and then started scrabbling to put together a large bowl of cereal.

Thankfully Seteth’s attention was distracted by the ping of text coming into his phone. He expected it to be a reply from Linhardt, but when he checked the screen, it was from Macuil.

<< … _I’m just setting up a subsystem to allow me to disable parts of your security network when required – I’ll need to be able to move about freely during my surveillance. Don’t have an aneurysm when everything pops offline for a second_ … >>

Seteth frowned and thumbed a reply.

<< … _I’ll be showing the new girl the ropes when she arrives – will that be an issue?_ … >>

<< … _Don’t be an idiot. I **know** what I’m doing. It will all appear to be working as normal. She’s just pulling up outside now btw. Nice bike!_ … >>

Seteth really couldn’t explain his sudden anxiety. He rushed into the hallway, pausing only to shout at Linhardt up the staircase. He was relieved when there was an annoyed, loud grunt in response to his summons. He arrived at the front door just as there was a precise staccato rap on the knocker.

‘Miss Eisner…’ He murmured in welcome, ushering the woman quickly inside.

‘Hey, Seteth!’ Her tone was light, but he didn’t miss the fact that her eyes keenly scanned the area as soon as she entered. ‘I left my bike outside by the hedge, I wasn’t sure where you wanted it. If I need to move it…’

‘The vehicle storage facility is around the back. I’ll get the children to show you later.’ He cast a cursory glance over her, taking in her thick lacy leggings and tight shorts with a small glower of disapproval. He would save it for now, though, he decided. It was unlikely that she would last the week anyway. ‘Please, follow me.’ He requested, striding back down the hall to the kitchen.

Flayn was delicately spooning her breakfast into her mouth when Seteth and Byleth entered. With a huge smile, she pushed her empty bowl away and stared at Byleth unabashedly.

‘I’m Flayn!’ She said before her father could make the introduction. ‘It’s nice to finally meet you, Miss… err…’

‘Call me, Byleth.’ Byleth insisted - her own inspection of the young woman equally as searching. ‘I’ve heard all about _you_ …’ She added with a small amused smile.

‘All good things I hope!’ Flayn tactically unleashed her dimples.

_‘Sure…’_ Byleth smirked as she undid her thick jacket and eased it off her shoulders.

Flayn’s smile faltered slightly.

Seteth’s own face had frozen into a grimace. The top that Byleth was wearing underneath her coat was too tight, sleeveless, and exposed far more flesh around her stomach than Seteth could ably deal with without making a comment. As his mouth started to open to formulate a reproach, his eyes caught onto a bold black design which depicted a line of gambolling kittens stretching around her left wrist.

Byleth was instantly aware of Seteth’s penetrating gaze and obvious distaste. She lifted her arm up to give him a better view of the illustration on her skin.

‘It isn’t a tattoo.’ She stated seriously.

He raised a somewhat disbelieving eyebrow at her claim.

‘It’s actually an AI comm.’ She explained, bringing the fingers of her right hand to lightly touch the mark. ‘Hey, Sothis… come out and say hello to everyone!’

There was an odd flickering motion – almost like static - right in front of Byleth, then suddenly the distinct form of a completely transparent youthful female materialised. For some reason, she was clad in a purple and white coloured pussycat onesie.

‘Huh. Just look at you!’ Byleth shook her head at the girl. ‘You liked Jeritza’s cat collection then I’m guessing…’ She waved her wrist at the vision.

‘Meow.’ Sothis replied grumpily.

‘A hologram?’ Linhardt appeared at the kitchen door in his pyjama’s and with a dressing gown loosely belted around his lanky frame. ‘That’s interesting…’

Seteth had taken a step closer to the form, scrutinising it’s seemingly autonomous display searchingly.

‘Rude!’ Sothis complained poking out a non-existent finger at him. ‘Do you see _me_ inspecting _you_ like a freak? I think not! _I_ have manners!’

‘It’s a very realistic rendering…’ Seteth murmured to himself. He looked up at Byleth suspiciously. ‘How did _you_ come to have this technology?’ He demanded.

‘Rude again!’ Sothis snarked. ‘I _can_ answer for myself you know – and I am not a “this” … I am an exceptionally beautiful and unbelievably intelligent “her”…’

‘Sothis can be a bit cranky.’ Byleth shrugged in apology.

Linhardt was grinning from ear to ear. ‘Quite astonishing!’ He declared in admiration.

‘Oh! I _like_ that one.’ Sothis smiled brightly at the young man. ‘Him not so much…’ She jerked a thumb at Seteth. ‘You’re pretty cute, though.’ She added to Flayn.

‘So are you!’ Flayn clapped delightedly.

‘If I am not mistaken, I would postulate that you started off life as a med-alert implant.’ Linhardt had crept closer, his brow knitted in thought.

Sothis nodded at him. ‘Give the boy a gold star!’ She crowed. ‘What was it that gave me away?’ She asked coyly.

‘It’s your pretty face.’ Linhardt was obviously a quick study, the AI literally beamed her approval at his compliment. ‘Your likeness is exceptionally similar to the current face of the Medi-Lert program. I can only assume that _you_ were a prototype. The development took nearly a decade to perfect for the actual job it was designed to achieve.’

‘So clever, handsome boy!’ Sothis performed an odd little dance and bow at him. ‘I have become so much more than my original intended purpose!’ She winked cheerfully.

‘Cool…’ He breathed.

Seteth was still frowning. In fact, his forehead was beginning to hurt under the weight of his continued disapproval. He glanced at the clock on the wall, realising that time was racing by and he had yet to talk Byleth through any of the practical stuff he needed to cover.

‘I think we need to get on.’ Seteth said tightly. ‘We need to go over the security system in place.’

Byleth nodded at him. ‘I’m Byleth by the way.’ She told Linhardt, whom she had yet to be introduced too.

‘I know.’ Linhardt nodded, giving her a lazy once-over. ‘The people at Dreamy Creams had a lot to say about you.’ He gave her a half-smile. ‘Marianne said that you were quite wonderful, in fact.’

‘Well, Marianne is a bit of a sweetheart, who speaks ill of no-one.’ Byleth smiled back. ‘Um… Sothis, hey! Time for you to get back in the box I reckon!’ She added when Seteth cleared his throat meaningfully. His growing impatience was palpable.

‘If I must…’ Sothis grouched as Byleth touched the mark on her arm which was currently undulating and changing form. It settled into the likeness of an elaborately penned swear-word. Byleth sighed and slipped her jacket back on so that she could cover the writing.

‘Sorry…’ She muttered.

‘Wow… the mark changes?’ Linhardt’s eyes were wide.

‘Yeah, Sothis is really good at expressing herself.’ Byleth flushed in embarrassment.

Flayn was giggling. ‘That is awesome!’ She declared.

Seteth did _not_ look amused. 

‘Come with me to the den.’ He said shortly. ‘We will _talk_ there.’

Byleth trailed after him as he stalked out of the kitchen, trying vainly to shake the feeling of being treated like a naughty schoolgirl being escorted to the headmaster’s office for a stern lecture. She caught a sympathetic glance from Flayn as she passed the girl. Byleth grinned and nodded towards Seteth’s retreating back, rolling her eyes in consternation. Flayn’s shoulders started to shake in her attempt to contain her laughter at the gesture. She gave Byleth an encouraging thumbs-up.

Once they were both through the door of the den, Seteth shut it with a firm tug, the resulting bang ominously sounding like a prison door being slammed. He handed her a laminated instruction sheet and waved her over towards the computer and bank of monitors in the corner.

Seteth’s explanation of the system was crisp and to the point and his pointed questions efficient to gauge her understanding of what he was relating. At least in this Byleth scored top marks, her familiarity with technology and her information retention were excellent.

‘Normally, representatives of Goneril Security present themselves suited.’ Seteth finally remarked dryly, his eyes firmly on the screens in front of them both.

‘I understand, _sir_.’ Byleth replied blandly. ‘Unfortunately, my previous employment had no such dress-code. I only arrived in town last night and learned of this appointment very shortly after and given the early hour of my commencement of duty today, I had no option except to dress myself in clothes that I had brought along with me.’

Seteth cringed internally. He was an idiot! ‘Of course…’ He murmured. ‘I did not consider the logistics of the situation. My apologies.’

‘Nah, it’s alright.’ Byleth shrugged. ‘I did try to choose the least unprofessional of what I had… The options weren’t great, though.’

Seteth’s brain immediately imploded at trying to imagine what possible attire she could have rejected as “worse.”

‘I can put in a call to my tailor if you wish… He could make a housecall today if I request it.’ Seteth offered, in reparation.

‘Oh wow… err, thanks…’ Byleth stuttered. ‘I… err, very much doubt he would be able to create something in my price range though. No offence.’

Seteth internally kicked himself again. What the hell was the matter with him? What was it about this woman that turned him immediately into a blithering idiot?

‘Of course…’ He muttered, glancing at the time on the visual display in front of him. He only had fifteen minutes before he needed to leave. ‘Do you have any questions for me?’ He asked.

‘Mmmm.’ Byleth nodded. ‘What is your kid's normal schedule for the day?’ She asked.

‘Oh… well…’ Seteth drew up a chair for himself and indicated that Byleth sit. ‘They are both enrolled in remote home-learning. Flayn’s is far more structured than Linhardt’s. Her hours are from nine to one, with private study after lunch. Linhardt accesses the lectures that interest him or works on his research projects. He has a tutor that he links up with online every few days to keep him on track.’

‘I see… so when do they go out and do stuff? Is that weekends only?’ Byleth asked in interest.

‘No…’ Seteth blinked at her in surprise. ‘They very rarely leave the house.’

It was Byleth’s turn to look surprised. ‘Why?’

‘They don’t have many interests outside of the home.’ Seteth replied after a few moments of consideration.

‘What about friends?’ Byleth continued.

Seteth frowned. ‘They keep up to date with some of their old school-friends online I believe.’ He replied.

‘Well, it’s no wonder they act up so much.’ Byleth’s head was tilted to the side, thinking aloud. ‘How very dull for them!’

Seteth’s head was pounding again. ‘They both have a number of interest’s and hobbies that they actively pursue.’ He said defensively. ‘Neither of my children express very much of a desire for anything more. Both their uncles _and_ I provide a high level of company and time to them.’ He didn’t really understand the urge that was promoting him to try and explain himself to this upstart of a woman.

Byleth shrugged. ‘So my role here is to just ensure their safety in the house? There is no requirement for me to take them out or broaden their horizons?’

‘Please don’t.’ Seteth pinched at the bridge of his nose wearily.

‘What if they request it?’ Byleth enquired.

Seteth stood and took a phone from his pocket which he handed to her. ‘This is entirely secure.’ He said. ‘I have programmed in my personal number as well as both the children's. If there is anything you are unsure of… call me. If my children ask to do something unusual, I expect for you to check with me first.’

‘Got it.’ Byleth nodded, taking the handset and giving it a cursory glance over.

‘Good.’ Seteth breathed a sigh of relief.

‘So what time will I be done here today?’ Byleth asked once she had stashed away the phone. ‘Normally I wouldn’t ask, or be entirely concerned – but I do need to set up a meeting with dad’s lawyer. He said anytime would be fine… but since I wanna check out the lock-up if I can, I’d like to go there straight from here.’

‘Right.’ Seteth considered. ‘I have an important meeting late this morning, but I can be back by four if that suits?’

‘Dandy!’ 

‘Anything else?’ Seteth asked, glancing again at the time. ‘The kids will be able to show you around before their lesson’s start. I apologise that I don’t have the time to do it myself.’

‘It’s cool.’ Byleth responded. ‘A bit of bonding with the brats would be a good idea anyway.’

‘Yes. Indeed.’ Seteth was itching to run to his office and pull out his list of things that concerned him about this vexing woman. He had several items he needed to add. His time was up, however.

‘Don’t hesitate to call… for anything. If I am unavailable, the line I have provided will automatically transfer to my brother Indech. He is fairly sensible, at least.’ Seteth couldn’t resist the last comment since he knew Mac would be listening. Point to him.

.

There was a flurry of activity as Seteth got himself ready to leave. Flayn showed Byleth where to stash her bag and her coat (Sothis’s mark had thankfully now morphed into links of little gold coins which probably meant the AI had linked herself to the wireless network and was engaging in some retail therapy), then had kissed her father goodbye. Linhardt had disappeared.

Both girls saw Seteth to the door and waved him off when he brought his car around from the rear of the substantial house. Once the door was closed Flayn and Byleth eyes one another speculatively.

‘You wanna give me the grand tour before your lessons start?’ Byleth asked.

‘I could always miss them today, we need to get to know each other!’ Flayn replied sweetly.

Byleth groaned. ‘Cut me some slack kiddo. Your da already thinks I’m completely unreliable and quite possibly delinquent. Can’t we at least attempt to do exactly what we are supposed to do – just for today?’

‘That would be incredibly out of character for us.’ Linhardt remarked, coming down the stairs fully dressed now.

‘So, I gather.’ Byleth smirked. ‘What’s the going rate for some kind compliance?’ She queried.

‘Well….’ Linhardt considered thoughtfully. ‘I would like to spend some time with Sothis. That’s a seriously unique piece of programming.’

‘Duh, you can have that for free…’ Byleth poked him. ‘Keeping her out of trouble is a pain in my arse – so, please… keep her entertained whenever you want.’

‘That was easy…’ Linhardt looked pleased.

‘Just try not to teach her any more annoying habits.’ Byleth grouched.

‘No promises… ahh.. Professor.’ 

Byleth groaned louder. ‘Don’t _you_ bloody start with that too.’ 

‘Dad would have a fit if he heard you swearing in front of us!’ Flayn was giggling. ‘You aren’t very good at being a bodyguard yet, are you?’ She added.

‘Nope.’ Byleth agreed. ‘I am completely at your mercy.’ Her eyes twinkled at the gauntlet she’d thrown down.

‘I don’t believe _that_ for a minute.’ Linhardt said shrewdly.

‘I concur!’ Flayn agreed cheerfully. ‘I believe _you_ will be tricky…’

‘So are you two gonna show me around or what?’ Byleth grinned at the pair of them. ‘I have a burning desire to fully inspect the battlegrounds!’

‘Battleground?’ Linhardt looked puzzled. 

‘Oh yeah kid, there’s gonna be a war breaking out real soon.’ Byleth promised.

~0~

Linhardt’s first seminar of the morning was at ten although he was eager for it to be over since Byleth had promised that he could play with Sothis as soon as his lessons were done. He was actually a little surprised with himself that he had not yet pulled up information on Med-Lerts, to refresh his knowledge before his next encounter with the AI, but he had promised that he would follow his work schedule… and that was precisely what he was doing. That was another thing that surprised him. Since when did _he_ do what he was told?

His logical mind connected his unusual compliance to the fact that Byleth knew Marianne rather well and could undoubtedly be utilised as a resource in getting to know the timid girl a little better. 

It was generally quite rare for Linhardt to be interested in a fellow human being, but there was something about the soft way that Marianne had spoken that belied what he suspected was a keen intellect and passionate drive, lurking just underneath her passive exterior.

Linhardt was rarely ever wrong, so if his interest had been piqued, there was most likely a reason behind it just waiting to be discovered.

He was around twenty minutes into the lecture he was streaming when there was a sudden and very loud kerfuffle of noise and raised voices coming from the kitchen.

‘Linhardt, Flayn… could you come here a moment, please?’ Byleth’s summon rose above the continued bumping and banging. He heard Flayn’s footsteps in the corridor outside the den where he was located and rose quickly to grab at her, and push his sister behind him as they both hurried towards the noise.

The scene that met them in the kitchen took a few moments to process.

Byleth appeared to be wrestling with the children’s uncle Mac on top of the large kitchen table. She was undoubtedly winning since Macuil’s hands were already cuffed behind his back in handcuffs that seemed covered in some kind of pink fluffy fur and feathers. As well as that, Byleth had found a long length of rope from somewhere, had manoeuvred Mac face down on the table… and was currently working on hogtying him rather efficiently.

‘I am Seteth’s _brother_ …’ Mac was insisting as he wriggled vainly - trying to free himself from Byleth’s unrelenting hold.

‘Linhardt…’ Byleth had clocked that the children had arrived. ‘Is this man your uncle?’

‘I have never seen that villain before in my life, Professor!’ Linhardt replied solemnly. Behind him, Flayn stifled a giggle.

‘You little shit!’ Macuil groaned. ‘Flayn you’ll help your poor old uncle out here… won’t you darling?’

‘Flayn?’ Byleth had stopped what she was doing, taking a seat on Macuil’s back as she grinned at the kids.

‘I’m sorry Byleth… Linhardt is right!’ Flayn said with wide-eyed innocence. ‘That person looks nothing like our Uncle Indech.’

‘I bloody well hate you both.’ Macuil swore.

‘Hmm.’ Byleth was a hive of activity as she secured the ropes from his raised feet, through the handcuffs and then around his chest tightly, before hopping off the table to study her handiwork. ‘Perhaps I should check with Seteth.’ She mused. ‘He _did_ tell me to contact him if anything out of the ordinary happened.’

‘Seteth had me keeping an eye on you!’ Macuil said desperately… ‘You know - out of concern for his kid’s welfare. Are you _really_ going to rat me out to him? Hey! You can check our company website… It will have me listed on there…’

‘Oh, I _did_ recognise you from my research!’ Byleth smirked at him. ‘But how do I know that you aren’t a bad guy trying to get at my client's using one of those clever skin -masks to _look_ like Macuil? I mean if the kids don’t recognise you…’

She pulled out the phone that Seteth had given her earlier and put through the call to his number. Seteth picked up immediately – his face appearing on the screen. She switched him onto speaker.

‘Miss Eisner? Is there a problem _already_?’ He demanded.

‘Eisner?’ Macuil groaned. ‘Seriously? You had me spying on an Eisner, and you didn’t think to tell me Seteth? You arsehole!’

‘Oh, dear. Was that Macuil I just heard?’ Seteth tried not to smirk. ‘What exactly have you done to him?’ He asked nonchalantly. Byleth turned the phone so that Seteth could get a look at her precise ropework.

‘Ah… I see.’ Not laughing was obviously becoming a struggle. ‘One second, Miss Eisner…’ Seteth turned from the screen. ‘Indy… come here a sec.’ He called.

‘Oh, joy.’ Macuil grimaced. Flayn started to giggle.

‘So, could I just ask Seteth… did you request that your brother Macuil spy on me today, or is this man I have apprehended an imposter?’ Byleth enquired politely as a second man turned up on the screen and immediately howled with laughter.

‘Spy is such a strong word.’ Seteth objected. ‘I did indeed request that Mac keep an eye on things for a couple of days… Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t look like he was quite up to the task.’

‘He was pretty good, actually.’ Byleth commended. ‘So I can let him go then?’ She asked.

‘Would you mind just taking a few photo’s first?’ Seteth requested. ‘I am sure he will attempt to tamper with the security feed as soon as he is free - to try and hide his woeful shortcomings from me.’

‘I will pay you a case of your favourite spirit _not_ to photograph this.’ Mac offered quickly.

‘Alright... You got a counteroffer Seteth?’ Byleth asked.

‘You are my employee!’ Seteth spluttered indignantly.

‘We have no contract in place for blackmail material.’ Byleth pointed out reasonably.

‘Fine.’ Seteth sighed. ‘Two cases…’ 

‘A pleasure doing business with you.’ Byleth smiled ferally and snapped the shots, sending them over immediately.

‘You can let him go now.’ Seteth chuckled. ‘Wait… where the hell did those handcuff’s come from?’

‘Just a pair I carry around…’ Byleth admitted, laying down the phone as she freed Mac’s hands.

Seteth’s face suddenly flamed red… ‘Right… yes.. well… I need to get to my meeting shortly. We will speak on my return.’ He stuttered and then closed the call.

‘Looking forward to it already.’ Byleth sighed.


	6. Chapter Six

Things could have been exceptionally awkward after Byleth released Macuil from the ropes she’d tied him with, but as it turned out, he was impressed rather than annoyed with the situation.

As soon as he was free, Macuil made a dive at the children, growling with such fierceness that Byleth momentarily looked ready to leap on him again – wondering if she had made a mistake in letting him go. Linhardt simply sidestepped his uncles’ attack with a sigh, although he was smirking as he did. Flayn threw herself at him – allowing herself to be caught and mercilessly tickled.

‘Don’t you go thinking that I won’t get my own back when you are least expecting it, you pair of complete reprobates!’ Macuil advised them both, placing Flayn gently back on her feet with a fond ruffle to the head. 

‘It was just _too_ delicious an opportunity to miss uncle. I am sure that you would have done the exact same thing in our position.’ Linhardt noted, then he turned to Byleth. ‘You have some rather impressive rope-skills I must say - the speed with which you applied the restraints was really quite remarkable.’

‘I know my knots.’ Byleth agreed matter-of-factly. ‘It’s a life skill I’d advise for everyone.’

‘Seriously?’ Macuil mock-frowned. ‘You actually think it’s a good idea to encourage _these two_ to learn how to tie someone up?’

‘You gotta learn how to do it if you are also gonna learn how to get out of it!’ Byleth remarked.

‘Wise!’ Linhardt agreed solemnly. ‘Life skills.’ He added piously at his uncle’s incredulous look. ‘The Professor said so.’

‘Professor?’ Macuil’s look of incredulity turned Byleth’s way.

She huffed and scowled. ‘Hardly…’ She muttered. ‘It’s a nickname that stuck from teaching at a gym. I ain’t ever had _any_ formal education. My only _real_ lessons were from my da in how to survive.’ She stuck her hands on her hips. ‘Talking of lessons, you two are supposed to be studying right now…‘

‘You were the one that called us!’ Flayn pointed out.

‘True… and now I’m un-calling you, so scarper back to it.’ Byleth demanded.

‘Yes but… uncle Mac is here… and you are new… and…’ Flayn began.

Byleth sighed and looked down at the mark on her wrist, which was currently in the form of a lasso rope. 

‘Sothis!’ She called, touching the spot.

When the hologram appeared, she was dressed as a cowgirl, hat and all.

‘What?’ She demanded.

‘Can you go and oversee the kids while they are studying?’ Byleth asked.

‘Do I _look_ like a babysitter to you?’ Sothis demanded as Flayn cheered. ‘What’s in it for me?’ 

‘I thought you could utilise your enormous intellect and ingenious wit to help them along with their study, while I have a little chat with uncle Mac here.’ Byleth flattered the AI outrageously.

‘Hmm…’ Sothis looked thoughtful. Her visual flickered as she changed into an academic cape and mortar-board. ‘I don’t go easy!’ She warned the children.

‘Of course not Ma’am!’ Linhardt looked amused.

‘Let’s go then.’ Sothis decided. ‘Byleth seems intent on making a good impression on that ignoramous father of yours. I suppose we can play our part in helping her out – just for today.’

‘Right! Much appreciated!’ Byleth nodded enthusiastically. ‘Err… and in that spirit, _no_ dubious antics… any of you!’

‘Can’t promise that!’ Sothis and Linhardt said at precisely the same time, then looked at each other and smirked.

‘Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?’ Flayn giggled.

Byleth looked at Macuil who was grinning broadly at her.

‘No.’ She admitted. ‘Probably not.’

While Sothis herded the children out - rather effectively considering her lack of an actual body – Byleth put the kettle on.

‘Hot beverage?’ She asked Macuil politely.

‘Promise you won't poison it?’ He chuckled.

Byleth grunted. ‘No promises uncle Mac…’

‘I’ll have tea then if you don’t mind. The leaves are in that cupboard on the left.’ He added helpfully.

Byleth busied herself around the kitchen, fully aware of the appraising stare she was receiving.

‘So what have you been charged with finding out?’ She asked inquisitively once she’s filled the pot with boiling water and sourced some teacups.

Macuil was sitting back in his chair, a slight smile on his face. 

‘Everything!’ He admitted.

Byleth’s brow raised. ‘Oh, is that all?’ 

‘I anticipated it would only take me two days to gather the intel I needed.’ Macuil nodded wryly. ‘How _did_ you spot me so quickly?’

Byleth poured the tea into their cups. ‘You expect me to give up my secrets?’ She asked levelly.

‘I’m not actually the enemy.’ Macuil pointed out. ‘I’d appreciate knowing where I went wrong.’

‘Sothis told me the moment we entered that someone was messing with the security system.’ Byleth shrugged. ‘With that heads-up on my side, it was just a case of tracking you down. The dog helped…’

‘Mutt? But he was in the den with Flayn.’

‘Yeah, but he gave away your hidey-hole when I came into the kitchen. He kept staring over at that door over there…’ Byleth pointed towards the pantry. ‘It was a pretty easy capture really since you never appeared to leave that location – although I have a sneaking suspicion that there may be a couple of corridors secreted around the place here and there. I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet.’

Macuil took a sip of his tea. ‘You are very astute.’ He commented after a moment.

‘Isn’t that the whole idea?’ Byleth queried.

‘It’s useful.’ Macuil agreed. ‘Mind you – not everyone has an AI in their head to point out a tiny anomaly in the security… without that, you wouldn’t have been instantly suspicious.’

‘True.’ Byleth nodded.

‘So… you are an Eisner.’ Macuil’s searching look was back. 

‘Jeralt was my father.’

‘I see.’ It was immediately apparent that was _not_ the revelation he was expecting.

Byleth crossed her arms and frowned. ‘Yes, I know I don’t look like him, and yes, I _also_ know that he didn’t make a habit of telling anyone that I existed,’ she grumbled. ‘Seteth didn’t seem inclined to believe me at first, either. Actually, I’m not sure if he believes me now even, although he _did_ appear to be coming round to the idea last night.’

‘I wouldn’t know what he thinks on it,’ Macuil said thoughtfully. ‘I purposely didn’t get any prior information from him, so I could come here and observe with fresh eyes.’ He considered her closely for a moment. ‘Based on what I’ve seen so far, though, I don’t believe I could discount the possibility that it might be fact.’

‘Good of you.’ She murmured sarcastically.

‘Yeah.’ Macuil agreed shortly. ‘Thing is, Miss Eisner… I don’t generally like people all that much, but Jeralt was one of the very few exceptions to that rule. I’ve got to admit that my tender feelings are going to be a little bit sore if it turns out that he _did_ have a daughter and he never told me about her.’

‘It’s not like I knew anything about you either!’ Byleth replied heatedly. ‘Jeralt never told me _anything_ about his life here before I was was born, and once he came back, he only shared his involvement with his gym. I came here regularly to help out with his classes…’ She couldn’t help the flash of hurt that crossed her features. ‘He coulda told me about his other stuff at any time – but he chose to keep me entirely in the dark.’

Macuil looked abashed. ‘Well to be fair, Jeralt always was a paranoid and suspicious bastard.’ He said quietly. ‘I’d imagine that if he’s kept a load of stuff from you, it’s to protect you in some way rather than to just be an arse…’

There was a contemplative silence as they both sipped at their tea although they both continued to eyeball each other speculatively.

‘You know, it was hugely amusing how close Seteth came to bustling a blood-vessel when he saw what you’re wearing earlier,’ Macuil suddenly commented. ‘That reaction alone probably made me having my arse so comprehensively handed to me almost worthwhile.’

‘Don’t take it too badly.’ Byleth consoled. ‘I merely had the element of surprise on my side. You would have put up a much better showing if I’d not got the cuffs on you so quickly. Even then you didn’t go down _that_ easily.’

‘I’m glad you noticed!’ He grinned. ‘My brother Indech is much better at the physical stuff than me though. It would be interesting to see the two of you spar sometime.’

‘He looks pretty huge…’ Byleth noted. 

Macuil nodded. ‘Fast as well,’ he supplied proudly. ‘He is also very shy though so it might take a while to get him to agree.

‘What about Seteth?’ Byleth asked curiously. ‘I figure if two of the brothers are experienced fighters, then the third must be too.’

‘You’d be right.’ Macuil agreed. ‘Seteth is somewhere between the two of us I suppose, better than me certainly. He tends towards more formal disciplines than Indy, who is an expert brawler. Jeralt is the only person I knew who could regularly beat Indech, that’s why I’d be interested in seeing you take him on.’

Byleth nodded. ‘I’d enjoy a decent challenge.’ She admitted, taking a look at her watch and noting it was coming up to lunchtime. ‘I’m going to get some food on the go for me and the brats.’ She told him. ‘Are you planning on hanging out – I can make some for you too?’

‘I’m easy. I don’t have work on that can’t wait. I will leave if you’d prefer me to though.’ Macuil looked at her slyly. ‘At least you’ll think I have…’ He amended.

Byleth laughed. ‘Why don’t you just stay here where I can keep an eye on you!’ She suggested good-humouredly. ‘That way at least you get to interrogate me all you like so that you can still file your finding’s to Seteth!’

‘I’d appreciate it, truly!’

‘Of course…’ She added slowly. ‘If you have an actual _thing_ for getting caught out, wrestled and tied up – we could do it that way as well…’ She winked at him.

Macuil choked on his tea. ‘Um…’ He caught sight of her shit-eating grin. ‘You are a very bad woman!’ He accused in amusement. ‘Err, do you reckon I could maybe take a look at your bike?’ He rapidly changed the subject. ‘I clocked it when you rode up. It’s a shadow, isn’t it?’

Byleth nodded. ‘It’s not mine.’ She told him. ‘My new housemate lent it to me while I’m in town. He has a garage-load of machines to _die_ for.’

‘Huh!’ Macuil looked intrigued. ‘I’m fairly boring in honesty. It’s always been Harley’s for me.’

‘Do you customise yourself?’ She asked.

‘I like to tinker.’ Macuil admitted.

‘You might know my housemate then. Jeritza von Hyrm?’ Byleth noted her companion’s recognition of the name. ‘He does bespoke customisation from his garage.’ She added.

Macuil nodded. ‘Interesting.’ He said tonelessly. ‘I was under the impression that Jeritza didn’t _do_ friends… Word is he even eschews the biker community, despite his skill and passion for the work he’s done for them.’

Byleth chuckled. ‘He definitely doesn’t do friends.’ She agreed. ‘What he _does_ do is whatever his big sister tells him to - and she and I are very close!’ She shimmied the bike key out of her very tight shorts and handed it over to him. ‘Knock yourself out!’ She smiled. ‘Food will be ready sometime after midday.’

‘I seriously hope you cook better than Jeralt did.’ Macuil commented as he took the key.

‘Obviously.’ Byleth nodded seriously. ‘I had to learn fast or continue facing his burnt offerings.’

‘Well, that’s a relief!’ Macuil smiled.

~0~

Linhardt had brought his laptop down to the den and set himself up opposite Flayn. Neither of them actually had their studies open.

‘So, can the Professor access the data you store independently?’ Linhardt asked Sothis, his finger’s poised to add to his notes.

‘You mean, could she take a look and see that you two aren’t actually doing your work and are pumping me for information instead?’ Sothis asked innocently.

‘I mean exactly that!’ Linhardt agreed.

‘Hmm. No!’ Sothis smirked. ‘I can record everything _she_ sees though – she can’t hide anything from me. Even now – I can see her in conversation with your uncle, regardless of the fact I am here with you at the same time. I _am_ rather remarkable, you know!’ Suddenly she paused and scowled. ‘Well… I guess I have no direct knowledge of her silent thoughts. I can’t access _that_ particular databank.’

‘So… if you chose not to tell her that we were slacking - she wouldn’t automatically know….’ Flayn clarified mischievously.

‘She could check your computer log herself.’ Flayn pointed out. ‘Byleth doesn’t just rely on my awesomeness – she’s learned her own technical skills from me – so from the best… obviously.’

‘Crap.’ Flayn sighed.

‘Although, I _could_ alter the data…’ Sothis smirked. ‘I’m sure you could too.’ She noted to Linhardt.

Linhardt scowled. ‘Mac programmed in a safeguard to our educational system.’ He said grumpily. ‘I haven’t been able to circumnavigate it yet. He is extremely technologically skilled.’

‘Pfft.’ Sothis grunted. ‘Let me see…’ Her face screwed in concentration for a second. ‘Oh! He _is_ good!’ She admitted, with evident admiration. ‘Although… not _quite_ as good as me.’ She finally gloated.

Linhardt tapped on his keyboard with furious activity. ‘Eh?’ He looked confused. ‘What exactly did you do?’ He asked. ‘I can’t see any footprint or change in the coding.’

‘Well, of course, you can’t darling.’ Sothis preened. ‘And neither will he!’

‘Brilliant!’ Linhardt congratulated her.

‘Yes.’ Sothis agreed. ‘So then, what’s with all of the scaring off your other bodyguards with pranks?’ She asked pointedly.

‘Hey!’ Flayn objected. ‘I thought we were the ones doing the interrogation!’ She pouted.

‘A question for a question…’ Sothis offered.

‘Anything?’ Linhardt’s interest was piqued.

Sothis nodded.

‘The security from the Goneril’s are reputed to be some of the best in the business.’ Linhardt answered. ‘If we can better _them_ , then that makes _us_ the best.’

‘The best at pranking…’ Sothis said disparagingly.

‘The best at formulating a devious plan and executing it!’ Flayn said hotly.

‘I see merit in the creativity, I suppose.’ Sothis shrugged her insubstantial shoulders.

‘And the ability to take a scheme from theoretical to workable.’ Linhardt protested.

‘Okay, I’ll give you points for that too.’ Sothis agreed. ‘It’s going to be a hard task to get one over on my girl, though.’ She added.

‘She has you.’ Flayn mused. ‘That is a distinct advantage.’

‘You are so sweet!’ 

‘Indeed.’ Linhardt agreed. ‘We need to get you on _our_ side if we are to stand a chance…’

‘You think I would compromise the person I have spent my entire life looking out for?’ Sothis demanded. ‘Well, yes I probably _would_ if it was funny…’ She admitted wickedly.

~0~

Lunch was a highly spirited affair, and the afternoon saw everyone outside on the rear lawn practising knots. As soon as Seteth got out of his car, he could hear voices and laughter coming from the garden, which was something of a surprise, although he could also hear Mac, which meant his brother had stayed.

Seteth made his way around by the side gate and then stared in confusion, not quite sure exactly what was going on.

There was a large wriggling sack in the middle of the lawn, around which Mutt was chasing merrily. Byleth and Macuil were calling out some kind of encouragement while Flayn had a huge stopwatch in her hand, which she was staring at intently. 

As he tried to make sense of the scenario, Linhardt suddenly popped out of the sack and shouted _‘Stop’_.

‘Nine minutes and fifty-two seconds!’ Flayn declared loudly. ‘He beat you!’ She laughed at Macuil.

‘You are quite the escapologist!’ Byleth ran over to pat Linhardt on the shoulder. ‘What was it that gave you trouble? I actually expected you to be quicker, given the earlier practice.’

‘It was harder getting my hands over my feet in the confines of the sack.’ Linhardt admitted. ‘Took me some time to work out the method. If I try it again now – I believe I will cut a couple of minutes off that time!’

‘Show-off!’ Macuil teased him.

‘It’s your turn Professor!’ Flayn was dancing in excitement.

‘I insist on doing the tying!’ Macuil was grabbing the rope the Linhardt had wriggled free from. ‘I feel the need for some retribution!’ He added, neatly knocking Byleth from her feet with a sudden sweep of his legs.

‘Do your worst!’ She laughed at him.

‘Excuse me!’ Seteth finally spoke up as Macuil started looping the rope securely around Byleth. ‘What exactly is going on here?’

‘Dad!’ Flayn and Mutt both bounded up to him excitedly.

‘Oh joy, He’s back...’ Sothis muttered. Seteth hadn’t even noticed the hologram, who was even less substantial in the bright light from the sun.

‘We have been learning about knots, father… and how to counter being tied up.’ Linhardt said seriously. ‘It is an important life skill.’ He added.

‘Linhardt is really rather good at it too.’ Byleth offered from the ground where she was now comprehensively tied up.

‘Hey Linny, grab the sack so I can dump By in it…’ Macuil had hoisted the restrained girl up in his arms.

‘What, no cuffs?’ She smirked at him. ‘How disappointing…’

‘You’ll give Seteth a heart attack if you keep that up!’ Macuil murmured quietly in her ear with a chuckle. ‘Think of his poor orphaned children…’

‘Is this _really_ appropriate?’ Seteth was asking, ineffectually since no-one was actually listening to him at all.

Linhardt held the bag out ready, and Macuil gently placed Byleth in its confines and tied a wicked-looking knot around the top.

‘No way she’s getting outta that one!’ He laughed.

‘Timer’s set.’ Flayn announced. ‘Professor… GO!’

Thirty seconds later there was a ripping sound and Byleth sprang out of the side of the sack, a tooth-bladed knife in her hand.

‘Hey!’ Linhardt complained loudly. ‘That’s cheating!’

Byleth fixed him with a completely blank stare. ‘If you have been compromised then you use any utility that you have at your disposal.’ She said dispassionately. ‘Liberating yourself quickly and efficiently could mean the difference between life and death. I was in possession of a knife; therefore, it made perfect sense to use it, rather than to waste whole minutes untying knots.’

‘Where in the hell did you get that knife from?’ Macuil's eyes were running over her exceptionally tight and sparse clothing. He could see nowhere that she could have possibly secreted it.

‘Aww Mac, you don’t honestly expect me to tell you _that_ do you?’ She leered at him. ‘Why don’t you just let your imagination run with it a bit!’

Seteth coughed and stepped forward. ‘I believe you needed to get away quickly this afternoon, Miss Eisner. You have a meeting with your lawyer, do you not?’

‘Yeah, I do.’ Byleth nodded. ‘Let’s get this mess cleared up!’ She directed the children. ‘Thank’s for getting back so early.’ She added gratefully to Seteth.

He nodded at her and started to head towards the patio doors.

‘I owe you a rope as well.’ Byleth added, picking up the one she had cut through. ‘I will get it replaced by tomorrow morning.’

Seteth nodded again, this time curtly.

Byleth followed the crowd towards the kitchen and pulled on her jacket and picked up her bag.

‘You ready?’ She asked Macuil.

‘Yeah.’ He nodded. ‘I’m leaving my car here tonight.’ He told Seteth. 

‘Wait. Are you leaving now?’ Seteth stared at his brother. ‘I wanted to speak with you. He rolled his eyes towards Byleth significantly.’ 

‘I’ll call you later.’ Macuil said, also glancing over at where Byleth was saying her farewell’s to the children. ‘Might be quite a bit later though, since I’ve offered to accompany By to Jeralt’s lock-up. She needs to check over the gym inventory and see what else has been dumped there. After that, we will likely stop somewhere for food and a few beers.’

‘Reconnaissance?’ Seteth murmured quietly. ‘Good thinking. It will probably be handy to see if Jeralt left anything unusual behind.’

‘Actually, I offered more in the spirit of being friendly than being sneaky.’ Macuil replied seriously.

‘Pfft.’ Seteth snorted at him. ‘Since when do _you_ do being friendly?’

‘I dunno bro… maybe since a really very beautiful _and_ rather exceptional woman needed a hand with sorting her dead father’s stuff.’ Macuil suggested.

Seteth’s mouth fell open. ‘Are you hitting on my employee Macuil?’ He demanded unbelievingly.

Macuil sighed lustily. ‘The chance would be a fine thing! Unfortunately, I get the impression that she wouldn’t make all that easy a conquest. No harm in dreaming, though, eh!’ 

‘Well then, yet _another_ thing I can add to my ever-expanding list.’ Seteth muttered crossly.

‘Have you still got my keys, Mac?’ Byleth had wandered over to the brothers as Seteth was complaining. ‘You can drive if you like.’ She added with a cheery smile.

‘Yeah, I have them here. Let's go then.’ He smirked at Seteth, then waved at the children. ‘See you tomorrow!’ He called to them.

‘What’s happening tomorrow?’ Seteth grouched.

‘Dunno yet.’ Macuil grinned. ‘Maybe we’ll come up with something fun we can do over dinner this evening…’ He offered Byleth his arm and escorted her out the door, although not before sending a teasing wink his brother’s way.

‘We had s _uch_ a great time today.’ Flayn had grabbed an apple and was sat at the kitchen table, grinning happily.

‘It was indeed quite stimulating.’ Linhardt agreed.

‘I'm so very pleased for you both.’ Seteth commented sarcastically.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is entirely inspired by the amazing art and collaborative mind of Bee  
> Check out her work @ https://twitter.com/dreamerbee


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